Monday, January 31, 2011

This Isn't What She Signed Up For

I was thinking about my wife today, and about how thankful I am for her.  Among other reasons, the one that has stood out the most over the past few months, is how supportive she is of me.

When we very first got engaged, and before that as well, we talked a lot about a lot of things.  We discussed goals, and how we wanted our house ran.  We decided that she would put me through school and that I would become a therapist, then I would work and she would be a stay at home mom.  I hadn't looked into Yoga, or Buddhism, or any other Eastern thought.  I never wore sweats, and I never wore shorts.  I thought I had a lot of things figured out, and because I'm so opinionated, I'm sure she had no reason to think that any of those opinions would ever change.

Well, they did change.  I decided not to become a therapist, and my wife pushed me to try writing (something I had always dreamed of doing, but which I had thought was a little too risky).  We discussed how much money I would make, and realistically realized that it may not be that much, but that if I am moderately successful and love it, that she would continue teaching, and I would be a stay at home dad.  This semester, as most of you know, I've fallen in love with Yoga, and how great it makes me feel.  I've also started looking into Buddhism, and how some of those practices might help me come closer to God.  I wear sweats now, most of the time, and my wife talked me into shorts last summer.  My opinions have changed drastically.  I don't have anything figured out (which I'm told is normal the older that you get), but I'm still just as opinionated.

A few weeks ago, while my wife and I lay in bed, I turned to her and said, "_______, this isn't really what you signed up for is it?"  She gave me a puzzled look, and told me she didn't know what I meant.  I rehearsed to her what I wrote above, about how much I had changed, and how I certainly wasn't the person that she married.  She thought for a while and said, something to the effect of, "Paul, you are the man I married.  I knew you were passionate, and I knew that things would change.  You still love me, and you're still what I want."

I still don't think this is what she signed up for, but it's nice to know that she's still supporting me no matter what.  I've been told, a few times here in blogger world, that it's so great that I'm so loyal to my wife.  Now, I'm not saying that there aren't assholes who step out on some pretty great women, but I really can't take all the credit for how loyal I am.  My wife deserves at least half of that credit, if not like ninety percent of it.  I'm not saying that I wouldn't be loyal if I had married a shrew, but my wife sure makes being loyal easy.


  1. Oh that was a nice post :) I sure love her. She is a good wife and the best sister-in-law in the whole world. And anyone who disagrees can answer to me....

  2. So true. Having a great & supportive wife makes so many things so much easier.

    This reminds me of something I heard once: "Women marry men hoping they'll change while men marry women hoping they never do". I guess, when you think about it, women generally go into it expecting us to change for the better. Just a thought.

  3. I love the way you love your wife...

  4. Paul.... you make me think of my better half... complete respect, love and awe...You both sound amazingly wonderful and so deserved of each other!

  5. Beautiful post my friend. I think I will go give my wife a massage for being so awesome.

    Let's hear it for awesome women and the lucky loyal men that managed to connect with them.

  6. that was very sweet. and i think most of us are surprised at how our lives change, but if we're with the right person, it doesn't matter.
    i like the quote vinny wrote up there. seems rather accurate.

  7. Change is inevitable: "to everything there is a season." It's great that your wife can roll with it. And you will too.

  8. Hear, Hear. Nice post.
    I think of it as evolving rather than changing who we are. There's nothing wrong with being opinionated, but open to changing ones mind.
    Buddhism is a great philosophy. We're all seekers.
    Welcome to the human condition.:)

  9. P.S. Dude. Where are you?
    I thought you'd recognize the "fine print".:) It'll make sense when you get there. Hope to see you soon.

  10. First of all... go put the ANT out of his misery will ya!

    Love this post. A lovely tribute to your wife and a reminder to us all that this is what marriage is all about. Loving someone for WHO they are, no matter what happens.
    I think you made everyone feel all warm and squishy. Now I want to go hug my Hubby :)

  11. Aw that is really lovely. I'm happy for you.

  12. What a touching, heart-warming post. I sometimes think those same thoughts about my husband. What he doesn't have to put up with from me some days...I don't know why he loves me. lol! Your wife is a very lucky woman.

  13. @Amanda
    She really is awesome. I'm glad you two like each other.

    The last wife of the President of my church was asked by a reporter, "What was it like to marry a Prophet?" Her response, "I didn't marry a Prophet, I married. I married a young returned missionary." I do think women expect men to get better. :)

    Thank you. I don't have to try too hard.

    Thank you. I sure hope I deserve her...

    Hear hear! I should give her a massage too. Massages for great wives! We should make it an annual holiday.

    Vinny has lots of good quotes. And it is interesting how life changes.

    True true. On all accounts.

    @Antares Cryptos
    That's Buddhism in and of itself isn't it? Change is inevitable, so be happy about it. It really is fun. And I honestly thought you were someone else until I was driving and remembered where the 1.50 came from. Then I felt like an idiot. I'm following now.


    I'm glad I made everyone warm and squishy. Oooh, da squishy. Anyway, she really is amazing, and do go give that hubby a big squeeze. :)

    Thank you. It's not always perfect, but it is always nice.

    I'm not sure why my wife loves me either. And I don't know about her being 'lucky.' Unless it's lucky to be appreciated, then she is for sure.

  14. I had a feeling you didn't know. Then I almost blocked you. Though you were spam. Oops.

  15. P.S. It's not about the following. BTW, if you didn't get a chance thought you'd appreciate Tyler Durden's "warning" on the post. :)