Friday, January 7, 2011

Let's Just Get this Out on the Table Now: Sometimes, Life Sucks

So, about four months ago now, my mirror broke off of my windshield.  I'm not talking about when the glue gets too old and falls off.  I'm talking about the mirror falling off as I drove and taking a piece of the windshield with it.  So, I went to  the junk yard and found a suitable replacement, not the same make or model, but a mirror that had a little metal piece that I could pry off and put on my windshield, just below where the original had been.  The new mirror has a propensity to go crooked.  Nothing has to touch it for this to happen, I'll just get in my car and there it is, crooked, and I have to turn it a little to go along my way, and the same thing happens after I'm done with class.  I looked at it more closely today and realized something, I still notice that it's crooked, but I haven't let it get to me.  Now, I think that I could allow that crooked mirror to control my emotions and make me grumpy and short tempered.  I could even get mad and say that I am a good person, I don't hurt anyone, I am a loving husband, and a supportive friend:  This INJUSTICE should not happen to me.  My mirror should stay straight.  Instead, I've come to realize that, as Wesley says in The Princess Bride, "Life is pain, highness."  And I look around, and life is.

Being in the Psych major that I'm in, I am often in discussions about lessening human suffering, and I'm beginning to think that it's a lost cause.  Again, life is pain.  It just is.  My mirror will continue to be crooked, working out will make my muscles sore, and ass holes will continue to try and make life for all of us miserable.  I submit that we need to stop trying to shun this pain, but embrace it.  Realize that there is no pain that is not insurmountable.  I'm taking a Positive Psych class this semester and there is a girl in there who is going through Leukemia treatment and said that she was taking this class for something fun, and maybe as a way to help with her recovery.  Even someone going through a disease like that can be happy, why should I let a crooked mirror throw off my whole day?

And I understand that we each have a cross to bear, but I don't think that there is a pain that hasn't been felt by humans.  As Hobson says in Arthur, "You feel unloved Arthur, everyone is unloved."  I'm not saying that people don't have a right to have these emotions.  In fact, I think someone would be unhealthy if they never felt sadness, or pain, but I think we all need to embrace the human existence for what it is.  Our existence here is pain, but that isn't depressing.  What is depressing is when we decide to focus on that pain, and think that is is simply awful and that we certainly cannot deal with it, because we are good people, and bad things should not happen to good people.  As Albert Ellis says, "Stop 'shoulding' all over my office!"  Things happen that suck, such is life.  But what we need to focus on is that while some of these ailments may never go away, we can deal with them and go on to focus on the things that are good.  There are so many good things in the world if we just look around.

Now, Some of you will note my age.  I am only twenty-five, and I certainly have not gone through what many of you have.  I may not really know what I'm talking about, but something inside me says that I'm on to something, and if I can cling to it through my life I'll be a happier person.  I will still complain, because it's fun.  I'll still tell you that my furnace is unpredictable and that people simply do not know how to use roundabouts, but I'll try to leave them here on my blog, and take the good things that all of you have to share, while being a listening ear to the things that suck.  I guess what I'm trying to say here is that life sucks, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing.


  1. I like this post.. I dont feel as though I really have anything useful to add.... except that I agree that life sucks. Thank you for your insights.

  2. It's a good post Paul... being a chronic pain sufferer though, it's easy for others to think that you can focus on other things in life, but when you wake up and every part of your body hurts with the exception of your nose, lips and eyes, and you can barely walk and it takes three hours to get your body mobile and no matter how happy you stay, your body eventually wins out because it's in agony and does push you to the brink of depression. I would know, and I am a pretty even keeled see life on positive side type of person. But a good thought nonetheless. I just wish it was that easy.

    Cheers sweetie and hope you and your lovely wife have a great weekend!

  3. No-one knows better about suffering through life than my husband.(I will blog it one day). but that hasnt made him a bitter creature. He is honest giving and loving. They say God dosent give us more than we can handle. I believe that. I also believe that life is full of the choices we make and the lessons we learn from them. No-one gets through life being all straight, unfeeling and unbendy.
    To CARK it: to die; expire, pass on; to cease to live; undergo the complete and permanent cessation of all vital functions; become dead

  4. I like to believe that Earth is the Only Hell we will experience...
    The Mirror falling off is right up there with the Birds falling out of the Sky...

  5. @ Amanda
    Thanks. It suddenly came to me as I was getting out of my car after school.

    @ AG
    I in no way want to lessen that fact that people go through pain that I don't understand, as it sounds like you do. And I'm not saying that you should never be depressed, I think it would be odd if you weren't, but I do think more people can do what you do, and try to notice the good with the bad, and spread that sunshine where she can.

    Please do. I love hearing stories about people overcoming great odds. And thanks for the definition. I really will try and use it.

    Really weird huh? I believe that the only real Hell is the one we make for ourselves, either in this life or the hereafter. :)

  6. Oh, I know you didn't mean that Paul... and it is so not the way i read your post either. I actually really enjoyed your post. It has some really great points to it!

  7. Good good. I just have the tendency to sound like a douche from time to time and this was certainly not one of the times I wanted to. Glad you enjoyed it. :)

  8. I always thought that happiness comes from inside rather than from circumstances - otherwise why do you see happy people in terrible circumstances? Its an attitude. It takes work, and sometimes one WANTS to be bloody miserable for a change. Then I let myself be miserable and enjoy it!

  9. And I think people have the right to be pissed occasionally. But I think they also have the responsibility to not let it control their lives. It is nice to be miserable occasionally.