So, about four months ago now, my mirror broke off of my windshield. I'm not talking about when the glue gets too old and falls off. I'm talking about the mirror falling off as I drove and taking a piece of the windshield with it. So, I went to the junk yard and found a suitable replacement, not the same make or model, but a mirror that had a little metal piece that I could pry off and put on my windshield, just below where the original had been. The new mirror has a propensity to go crooked. Nothing has to touch it for this to happen, I'll just get in my car and there it is, crooked, and I have to turn it a little to go along my way, and the same thing happens after I'm done with class. I looked at it more closely today and realized something, I still notice that it's crooked, but I haven't let it get to me. Now, I think that I could allow that crooked mirror to control my emotions and make me grumpy and short tempered. I could even get mad and say that I am a good person, I don't hurt anyone, I am a loving husband, and a supportive friend: This INJUSTICE should not happen to me. My mirror should stay straight. Instead, I've come to realize that, as Wesley says in The Princess Bride, "Life is pain, highness." And I look around, and life is.
Being in the Psych major that I'm in, I am often in discussions about lessening human suffering, and I'm beginning to think that it's a lost cause. Again, life is pain. It just is. My mirror will continue to be crooked, working out will make my muscles sore, and ass holes will continue to try and make life for all of us miserable. I submit that we need to stop trying to shun this pain, but embrace it. Realize that there is no pain that is not insurmountable. I'm taking a Positive Psych class this semester and there is a girl in there who is going through Leukemia treatment and said that she was taking this class for something fun, and maybe as a way to help with her recovery. Even someone going through a disease like that can be happy, why should I let a crooked mirror throw off my whole day?
And I understand that we each have a cross to bear, but I don't think that there is a pain that hasn't been felt by humans. As Hobson says in Arthur, "You feel unloved Arthur, everyone is unloved." I'm not saying that people don't have a right to have these emotions. In fact, I think someone would be unhealthy if they never felt sadness, or pain, but I think we all need to embrace the human existence for what it is. Our existence here is pain, but that isn't depressing. What is depressing is when we decide to focus on that pain, and think that is is simply awful and that we certainly cannot deal with it, because we are good people, and bad things should not happen to good people. As Albert Ellis says, "Stop 'shoulding' all over my office!" Things happen that suck, such is life. But what we need to focus on is that while some of these ailments may never go away, we can deal with them and go on to focus on the things that are good. There are so many good things in the world if we just look around.
Now, Some of you will note my age. I am only twenty-five, and I certainly have not gone through what many of you have. I may not really know what I'm talking about, but something inside me says that I'm on to something, and if I can cling to it through my life I'll be a happier person. I will still complain, because it's fun. I'll still tell you that my furnace is unpredictable and that people simply do not know how to use roundabouts, but I'll try to leave them here on my blog, and take the good things that all of you have to share, while being a listening ear to the things that suck. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that life sucks, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing.