Wednesday, January 26, 2011

My Mind Won't Shut Off

So, I've been having a hard time sleeping lately.  It's not because I don't exercise (remember all of my Yoga incidences).  And I wouldn't say that I don't wake up early or go to bed early (I wake up at six forty to make my wife breakfast and go to bed at ten).  I've decided it's because my brain won't shut off.

When I was little, and I was having a hard time getting to sleep, my dad would often tell me to envision what I would do with one million dollars.  Now, I was ten, so it usually consisted of my buying every X-Men action figure imaginable, but it started me on a path of sleepless nights (when I have something really good to day dream about).

Lately, I've been thinking about my writing career.  I have a children's book already written.  What if, I entered it into some contest and they found it so wonderful that they wanted to pay me to publish it?  What if, because I published it, I got to speak at the writer's convention I went to last year as an aspiring writer?  How would I finish school?  How much editing would need to be done?  What if it made it so my wife and I could pay off our condo!?!?  And it's moments like this that I realize something:  being married changes what you daydream about.

I cannot explain how excited I get when I think about paying off the condo.  It's so far off.  We've pretty much concluded that we will move before it's paid off, and still, we pay more than the minimum payment.  Wouldn't it be awesome to have that much more money every month to work with?  That whole house payment's worth?

I also dream about other things that I never thought I'd dream about, like what my kid will do when they're growing up, activities wise.  Will he play football like his grandma would love, or will she play ice hockey, like her dad?  Will he be an actor like his mom, or will she water ski like her grandpa?  I get excited thinking about this too.

And then I think about what I used to dream about.  I used to dream about BMW Z-3's, now I wouldn't even think of buying one, not until all my kids are grown anyway.  That little sport's car costs a lot, and doesn't have room for a car seat.  I used to dream about a mansion.  Why would we get a mansion?  That would just be more rooms to clean.  What I really dream about now is making life comfortable for me, my wife, and our little family.  It think it's funny how pathetic I might have seen myself three years ago, and how I really just don't give a damn. :)


  1. I enjoyed reading this because its true. Everything changes when you get married. For the better of course... I've always been down to earth but I think I hit "rock bottom" of reality when I got married.

  2. Right on brother! Things do change. I think if I ever was published I would definitely invest in my family's future. Mortgages, kid's college funds, retirement...

    Either that or buy every X-Men Action Figure.

  3. More respect to you - yes, so many people think that marriage and kids are a doddle, but they HAVE to be what you live for - your home, your happiness!. Loved the writing in your earlier post. You're so prolific! I hope your kiddie book gets published soon. Tell us when it does. I mightn't have kids, but I LOVE a good kiddie book - I've quite a collection (yes, I know what this says about my mental maturity!)

  4. Think about all the awesome video games you'll get to play with your kid and there will be more action figures, I mean "collectibles".

    BTW, how was your D&D weekend? There's a funny D&D celeb game on You tube can't remember the link.

  5. It's funny how change is life's one true constant. Just when we think we have our priorities figured out, we reach another stage in life & what we thought was important seems silly.

    PS: My wife is the same way. She gets serious bouts of insomnia for the same reasons & more.

  6. I can so related. Lately, my sleeplessness is filled with ways I can find extra money to finance my kids' university education. My wife likes to say she hasn't slept since 1994. It's good you're getting prepared for this now.

  7. Strange how our dreams and priorities change as we get older, or married, or expecting. What may have been important is now trivial, and what was once never even thought of is now the only thing on our minds.
    It's hust where life takes you I guess.
    Nice thought provoking post.
    (I still have ET eyes. Took me ages to write "Thought" LOL!)

  8. @Amanda
    I think it's funny how much you and I are different, but on stuff like this we are so alike.

    I think both would be sound investments. I've debated over both, but my wife says I have to stick with mortgage and kids. :)

    I will certainly tell you when/if it gets published. I like kiddie books too, I think they tell the most important stories in the simplest ways. Look at Suess, I cry every time I read Horton Hears a Who, because the lesson is so true. "A person's a person, no matter how small."

    Oh, we'll call them action figures. Why pretend to be cooler than I am? And my blog today will be about the game. In a word, it went 'well.'

    I agree. I've been trying really hard lately to remember that change is the only constant, and that every stage has validity and value. Wanting a sports car seems silly to me now, but I really try to remember that it was a valid dream back then.
    As for your wife, don't try and drug her. When I told my wife about having trouble she asked if I needed pills. If I need them, I'll acquire them. :)

    I actually started thinking about their college last night. Ugh. I may have the same sentiments as your wife, just a different year.

    What you said here is almost poetic. It's all so true. And I'm sorry about your ET eyes. I have trouble typing some words, but I have no excuse... :)