1. My D&D stuff made it to Vineyard, and should be arriving at my house today. :)
2. I was able to type the & sign without looking at my fingers... twice. This is a big accomplishment for me.
3. I got a 98% on my Yoga midterm. The test wasn't hard, but it still feels good.
Well, here it is: the last day of my rules of dating. I hope you've enjoyed them the same way that I have, and if I only help one guy do better at dating I'll feel like I've done well (so if this info helped you and you said something about it in the comments, I wouldn't feel too bad...).
First off, I meant to mention this, but found no nice place to put it: Beware of Perseverance Propaganda. "What is Perseverance Propaganda?" you might ask. It is American media. It's every movie and song where the girl cannot stand the guy at the beginning and somehow, by his harassing her, she falls in love with him and they end up together. Guys, do not be obnoxious. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that if you could only stalk this girl for a few months she'd eventually fall for you. Chances are, she won't, and she'll hate you more by the end of things, tell all her friends that you won't leave her alone, and depending on the girl, you'll end up face first in a garbage can, courtesy of the football team. So, if she's not interested, leave her alone. Now, you might ask, how do I know if she is just busy, or if she is not interested. Good question. Here's a good rule of thumb: Ask her out three times. If she's 'busy' three times, give up. Unless of course each time she says no she tells you to ask her again. Then, chances are, she really does want to go, but really is just busy often. If you ask her and she just says she's busy that day, stick to the rule of three.
Secondly, don't get discouraged. Dating can be fun. I had fun by the end of things, and I got turned down more then than in any other time of my dating. You just have to switch your paradigm from thinking you need to find THE ONE, to you finding the one that would be fun this weekend, and if things go well from there, so be it. Ask a lot, get turned down a lot. My cousin (the one who said dating is a numbers game) said he got the info from his mom, and his mom gave him the ratio of 10 turn downs to 1 number. It seems like a steep ratio, but my experience says it's true. But think, every turn down, is one of those tens that will lead you to a number.
Third, realize that there are always exceptions. For the most part, consider yourself the rule (you'll have more luck this way), but also know that every couple is probably an exception in someway to any of my rules. You see super ugly guys with attractive women all the time, my mom couldn't stand my dad to begin with, and I swore for the first time in front of my wife while we were dating when I thought her dad was going to run into the shore while water skiing. If you break a rule, don't think that it's the end of things, but if it is, don't be too surprised.
Anyway, that's all of the knowledge on this subject I'll dispense here (for now). Do look forward to the book I plan on writing on this subject, I promise I'll keep you posted. And as always, have a nice day.
Showing posts with label Dating Tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating Tips. Show all posts
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Rule 9: Work On Yourself
1. I won the Stanley Cup for the second time with the LA Kings this morning in NHL 11.
2. Found out my buddy and his wife will have their baby this Sunday at the latest.
3. My car still runs. It's old. I'm just really grateful for it this morning.
Well guys, second to last rule. This one may cut you to the quick, but I've got to tell it like it is. We've discussed the normal curve, and a little on how to beat it, but this post should help you look seriously at yourselves, where you fit on that curve, and if you want to change things.
Let's start with this: Would you want to date you? I want you to think about it seriously. Take a moment. Be silent. Stop reading for a little while and think about it honestly. If you were a woman in today's world, with rape, murder, abuse, and pain in the news everyday, would you want to be with you? Would you trust you? If a guy who looked and acted just like you walked up to your girl self, and asked for her number, would your girl self give it? If you took your girl self on a couple of dates, would your girl self want to continue? Even if the dates were planned well?
If you said no to these questions, let's consider changing. Now, before you get all huffy, I don't want you to change what is fundamentally you. Don't change your values, or your morals (unless your values consist of instant gratification and violence, and your morals consist of as many partners as possible and doing drugs as often as you can get your hands on them, because these can and need to change). The image I want you to think of comes from Hitch, when he has the guy buy the new shoes and the guy says they aren't really him. Hitch answers, "YOU, is a very fluid term right now. You bought the shoes. You look great in the shoes. This is the you I'm talkin' about." Don't change what's really important, but look at things that drag you to the outlying parts of the normal curve, and think about if those things are endearing or obnoxious.
For example: When my wife and I first got married I was on the VERY far right side of opinionated... to be honest I still am. How I expressed those opinions was also to the very far right. How this really came across was that I always sounded like my word was law whenever we had an argument, because I expressed my opinions so forcefully and with so many supporting points. My wife hadn't even had a chance to think about the issue, so she felt trapped, though she didn't like my conclusion. She expressed that to me and I had to think, "Is 'expressing my opinions forcefully' really fundamentally me? Would I want to be in my wife's position, feeling trapped every time there is a difference of opinion?" My obvious answer was, "No. On both counts." So what did I do? I changed. I now ask my wife about something and give her time to think, or try to phrase my opinions in a softer way. Everyone is happier.
So, today's advice: If your not who you want to be, you can change. If you want to get fitter, weights and fitness plans exist. If you want to be less abrasive, ask friends and family to tell you when you're being abrasive. Do you dress in all black and wear KISS make up? It's an easy fix: buy some new clothes, and wake up a little later every morning. Change will take time and effort. I can say that because I used a lot of both of these before I became someone my wife would be able to tolerate. I quit swearing. It was hard, but chicks tend to not like it. I figured out which jokes were funny to my guy and girl friends, and which ones weren't, and I stopped using the ones girls didn't like. Change is possible and effective, I promise.
Have a nice day.
2. Found out my buddy and his wife will have their baby this Sunday at the latest.
3. My car still runs. It's old. I'm just really grateful for it this morning.
Well guys, second to last rule. This one may cut you to the quick, but I've got to tell it like it is. We've discussed the normal curve, and a little on how to beat it, but this post should help you look seriously at yourselves, where you fit on that curve, and if you want to change things.
Let's start with this: Would you want to date you? I want you to think about it seriously. Take a moment. Be silent. Stop reading for a little while and think about it honestly. If you were a woman in today's world, with rape, murder, abuse, and pain in the news everyday, would you want to be with you? Would you trust you? If a guy who looked and acted just like you walked up to your girl self, and asked for her number, would your girl self give it? If you took your girl self on a couple of dates, would your girl self want to continue? Even if the dates were planned well?
If you said no to these questions, let's consider changing. Now, before you get all huffy, I don't want you to change what is fundamentally you. Don't change your values, or your morals (unless your values consist of instant gratification and violence, and your morals consist of as many partners as possible and doing drugs as often as you can get your hands on them, because these can and need to change). The image I want you to think of comes from Hitch, when he has the guy buy the new shoes and the guy says they aren't really him. Hitch answers, "YOU, is a very fluid term right now. You bought the shoes. You look great in the shoes. This is the you I'm talkin' about." Don't change what's really important, but look at things that drag you to the outlying parts of the normal curve, and think about if those things are endearing or obnoxious.
For example: When my wife and I first got married I was on the VERY far right side of opinionated... to be honest I still am. How I expressed those opinions was also to the very far right. How this really came across was that I always sounded like my word was law whenever we had an argument, because I expressed my opinions so forcefully and with so many supporting points. My wife hadn't even had a chance to think about the issue, so she felt trapped, though she didn't like my conclusion. She expressed that to me and I had to think, "Is 'expressing my opinions forcefully' really fundamentally me? Would I want to be in my wife's position, feeling trapped every time there is a difference of opinion?" My obvious answer was, "No. On both counts." So what did I do? I changed. I now ask my wife about something and give her time to think, or try to phrase my opinions in a softer way. Everyone is happier.
So, today's advice: If your not who you want to be, you can change. If you want to get fitter, weights and fitness plans exist. If you want to be less abrasive, ask friends and family to tell you when you're being abrasive. Do you dress in all black and wear KISS make up? It's an easy fix: buy some new clothes, and wake up a little later every morning. Change will take time and effort. I can say that because I used a lot of both of these before I became someone my wife would be able to tolerate. I quit swearing. It was hard, but chicks tend to not like it. I figured out which jokes were funny to my guy and girl friends, and which ones weren't, and I stopped using the ones girls didn't like. Change is possible and effective, I promise.
Have a nice day.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Rule 8: Don't Go Steady in High School
1. I got into the playoffs again in NHL 11, and I swept Phoenix in the first.
2. I did partner Yoga yesterday for the first time and lifted a football player with my legs.
3. My wife accidentally spilled water on my lap top, but after it dried out some, it still worked.
Today's post won't be popular, and I understand that. I know this because I remember me in high school. I remember buying into the 'liking one person' phenomenon. I remember looking at my parents and noticing how happy they were just to have each other. I also remember thinking that I was very mature for my age, and was ready to be in a serious relationship. I remember my dad telling me that having a girlfriend was a bad idea in high school, and just like with the quick date idea, I thought that my dad was an idiot.
It all went down my junior year. I made the ballroom team, along with the hockey team, and was in the middle of juggling both. Most of my friends were either on the hockey team or ran with hockey players, so I didn't really have many friends on ballroom to start with, and I mostly kept to myself. In one of the dances (I think the two step routine), I got paired with the ballroom captain. She was cute, and there were enough breaks for me to joke around with her and eventually drive her home, and end up holding hands with her on her mom's couch. It was pretty cool. What followed can be observed on Bambi, we both got butterflies, and our eyes got large and glassy. And soon, we became inseparable.
So inseparable in fact, that my friends remember it as the year that I disappeared. What can I say? They were out chasing girls, and I had a girlfriend. We really weren't up to the same things. I saw my hockey buddies at practice, but that was about it. The rest of my time was spent with my girlfriend.
She was a year older, so that summer we broke up. She went off to college and I started my senior year. I rarely dated that year, and found no other girlfriend. I dated the girl my junior year for nine months. To be honest, it was nine months of making out and arguing. That's really all we did. And, the other girls at the high school who were interested in me had noticed us, and never asked if we were still together. Because we had been inseparable, I assume that people assumed that we were still together, and because I'm an introvert, I didn't talk enough to let them know otherwise.
Now, I do need to say that the girl I dated really is a wonderful person. She is very sweet, and very kind. To be honest, I didn't deserve to be with her. I was kind of a jerk through a lot of the relationship (not as mature as I thought). The bottom line though, and again, I don't expect this to be a popular opinion, is to date a lot of people in high school, and don't 'go steady.' I know that your mature, more mature than I was. I know you've thought this through, and it seems like the right idea. But please, just take it from me, and don't go steady in high school.
Have a nice day.
2. I did partner Yoga yesterday for the first time and lifted a football player with my legs.
3. My wife accidentally spilled water on my lap top, but after it dried out some, it still worked.
Today's post won't be popular, and I understand that. I know this because I remember me in high school. I remember buying into the 'liking one person' phenomenon. I remember looking at my parents and noticing how happy they were just to have each other. I also remember thinking that I was very mature for my age, and was ready to be in a serious relationship. I remember my dad telling me that having a girlfriend was a bad idea in high school, and just like with the quick date idea, I thought that my dad was an idiot.
It all went down my junior year. I made the ballroom team, along with the hockey team, and was in the middle of juggling both. Most of my friends were either on the hockey team or ran with hockey players, so I didn't really have many friends on ballroom to start with, and I mostly kept to myself. In one of the dances (I think the two step routine), I got paired with the ballroom captain. She was cute, and there were enough breaks for me to joke around with her and eventually drive her home, and end up holding hands with her on her mom's couch. It was pretty cool. What followed can be observed on Bambi, we both got butterflies, and our eyes got large and glassy. And soon, we became inseparable.
So inseparable in fact, that my friends remember it as the year that I disappeared. What can I say? They were out chasing girls, and I had a girlfriend. We really weren't up to the same things. I saw my hockey buddies at practice, but that was about it. The rest of my time was spent with my girlfriend.
She was a year older, so that summer we broke up. She went off to college and I started my senior year. I rarely dated that year, and found no other girlfriend. I dated the girl my junior year for nine months. To be honest, it was nine months of making out and arguing. That's really all we did. And, the other girls at the high school who were interested in me had noticed us, and never asked if we were still together. Because we had been inseparable, I assume that people assumed that we were still together, and because I'm an introvert, I didn't talk enough to let them know otherwise.
Now, I do need to say that the girl I dated really is a wonderful person. She is very sweet, and very kind. To be honest, I didn't deserve to be with her. I was kind of a jerk through a lot of the relationship (not as mature as I thought). The bottom line though, and again, I don't expect this to be a popular opinion, is to date a lot of people in high school, and don't 'go steady.' I know that your mature, more mature than I was. I know you've thought this through, and it seems like the right idea. But please, just take it from me, and don't go steady in high school.
Have a nice day.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Rule 7: Figure Out What She Likes
1. My wife let me order a bunch of D&D stuff. I have three books and 23 miniatures coming to me in the mail right now... I'm so happy.
2. I got a good parking spot quickly.
3. I took the Yoga midterm and feel really good about it.
When I was in high school, there was a woman in my church who thought that I was such a nice young man, and she knew a girl who was just getting back on to the dating scene. Previously, the girl had dated some pretty big jerks, and the woman in my ward asked if I would take her on a date. Now, I have mentioned previously that I was not a natural at dating. I was natural at being a nice guy, but I was only sixteen, and did not know how to plan well. I can't remember what we did first, but I decided to take her to a Thai restaurant that I liked a lot afterward. Note: That I liked a lot. It was a little hole in the wall back then, on an out of the way street in Provo. We probably drove around for twenty minutes looking for this place, until I gave up and asked if she liked Mexican food. She said that she did, but that she liked fast food Mexican (Taco Bell was her example). I'm ashamed to say that Taco Bell was 'below my dignity' and I took us a to a Mexican food place that I had never been to before. It was pretty good, but not great. After we ate, I asked if she liked it. She said that it was okay, but that she liked Taco Bell better...
When my sister was just out of high school, there was a guy who took her to a movie. They had been on a few dates before, and my sister thought he was pretty cool. He took her to Knocked Up. I've never seen it. Some of my buddies said that it was funny, but that there was a lot of swearing, a lot of nudity, a lot of sex jokes: a lot of stuff that offends my sister. She walked out of the movie, and the guy didn't come looking for her for half an hour. When he did finally come, she asked for him to take her home. She never went out with him again.
Guys, I should hope by now that you can see what's wrong with both of these stories. At the base of both, is selfishness, which is against the gentleman's code anyway, but just as evil as selfishness, is the inability to do one's homework, and to think of the girl he's taking out.
The first thing to do to avoid this is to plan before you go. I know that I've already stressed this, but let me give you some specifics. Eat at the restaurant before you go to it. Know a few different things on the menu, so that when she asks what's good, you know a few things that might spark her interest (the girl I went with asked what was good at the Mexican place. I had no clue). Know how to get to that restaurant, clear exact directions that make it so that you can drive to it confidently. See the movie before taking the girl to it (breaking this rule is the only possible saving grace for the guy mentioned, in my mind. He already knew that stuff offended my sister). And even if it's not a movie or a restaurant, always do your homework on any activity. Does this band cuss every three seconds even though they don't in their songs? Is this ice rink in a sketch part of town? etc. etc.
The second thing is to listen to your date and figure out where she stands on stuff. I should have listened to the girl and gone to Taco Bell. It was what she wanted, and I was too selfish to figure that out. The guy knew that stuff offended my sister, he should have walked out too.
So, to reiterate: Plan to impress, not just a list of things to do, but a way to get to them and make them as enjoyable as possible once you get there. And, listen to the girl. She has opinions and stuff that you need to know to help her have fun.
Have a nice day.
2. I got a good parking spot quickly.
3. I took the Yoga midterm and feel really good about it.
When I was in high school, there was a woman in my church who thought that I was such a nice young man, and she knew a girl who was just getting back on to the dating scene. Previously, the girl had dated some pretty big jerks, and the woman in my ward asked if I would take her on a date. Now, I have mentioned previously that I was not a natural at dating. I was natural at being a nice guy, but I was only sixteen, and did not know how to plan well. I can't remember what we did first, but I decided to take her to a Thai restaurant that I liked a lot afterward. Note: That I liked a lot. It was a little hole in the wall back then, on an out of the way street in Provo. We probably drove around for twenty minutes looking for this place, until I gave up and asked if she liked Mexican food. She said that she did, but that she liked fast food Mexican (Taco Bell was her example). I'm ashamed to say that Taco Bell was 'below my dignity' and I took us a to a Mexican food place that I had never been to before. It was pretty good, but not great. After we ate, I asked if she liked it. She said that it was okay, but that she liked Taco Bell better...
When my sister was just out of high school, there was a guy who took her to a movie. They had been on a few dates before, and my sister thought he was pretty cool. He took her to Knocked Up. I've never seen it. Some of my buddies said that it was funny, but that there was a lot of swearing, a lot of nudity, a lot of sex jokes: a lot of stuff that offends my sister. She walked out of the movie, and the guy didn't come looking for her for half an hour. When he did finally come, she asked for him to take her home. She never went out with him again.
Guys, I should hope by now that you can see what's wrong with both of these stories. At the base of both, is selfishness, which is against the gentleman's code anyway, but just as evil as selfishness, is the inability to do one's homework, and to think of the girl he's taking out.
The first thing to do to avoid this is to plan before you go. I know that I've already stressed this, but let me give you some specifics. Eat at the restaurant before you go to it. Know a few different things on the menu, so that when she asks what's good, you know a few things that might spark her interest (the girl I went with asked what was good at the Mexican place. I had no clue). Know how to get to that restaurant, clear exact directions that make it so that you can drive to it confidently. See the movie before taking the girl to it (breaking this rule is the only possible saving grace for the guy mentioned, in my mind. He already knew that stuff offended my sister). And even if it's not a movie or a restaurant, always do your homework on any activity. Does this band cuss every three seconds even though they don't in their songs? Is this ice rink in a sketch part of town? etc. etc.
The second thing is to listen to your date and figure out where she stands on stuff. I should have listened to the girl and gone to Taco Bell. It was what she wanted, and I was too selfish to figure that out. The guy knew that stuff offended my sister, he should have walked out too.
So, to reiterate: Plan to impress, not just a list of things to do, but a way to get to them and make them as enjoyable as possible once you get there. And, listen to the girl. She has opinions and stuff that you need to know to help her have fun.
Have a nice day.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Rule 6: "Why Not Just Call Her Up on a Wednesday Night and Ask if You Can Buy Her an Ice Cream at Dairy Queen?"
1. This may sound dumb, but in my NHL 11 season, I'm eighteen games in and still undefeated. That just feels good.
2. I found a fourth player for my D&D game yesterday.
3. My wife bought me Cold Stone ice cream.
Today's post is really coming from some good advice my dad gave me in high school. At the time, I was having a really hard time aligning my schedule to the girl I was trying to date (because I was in high school and hadn't figured out that I could like more than one). I kept trying to set up these big dates on weekends, but she kept being busy (but was obviously interested at school. I'll write about when to stop asking later). I asked several times, and she was always busy. I complained to my dad about it and he gave me some advice that I still kick myself for not taking.
He said, "Paul, why do you keep trying to set up the big date? Why not just call her up on a Wednesday night and ask if you can buy her an ice cream at Dairy Queen." Of course, when I was in high school my dad was an idiot, so I scoffed and said that was the stupidest idea ever. I would continue down my path of rejection and there was nothing he could do to stop me. He dropped the issue.
Somehow, after I got home from my mission, my dad's idiotic advice suddenly became smart. Don't ask me how it happened; I still consider it a miracle. I did what he said to do, I asked girls on short quick dates that were allegedly sporadic and only took about thirty minutes. Guys, I found that the quick date is just as good as the drawn out one. Do remember that the same rules apply to the shorty: Planned, Paired Off, and Paid for. The real difference is in the call. You'll want to call about thirty minutes before you want to go on the quick date, and in the call, you need to say something slightly different than for the long date. In the short one, don't say actually say the word date. I know, this is completely against what I said before, but our society has trained us to think of dates as several hours long and something you need to 'get ready' for. Instead, you explain a date. Like this, "Hey (her name), in about half an hour I was going to go to Dairy Queen and get something. I was wondering if you'd like to come and let me buy you an ice cream." Check it out: It's planned out, you told her a time, a place, and what you'd be doing. It's paired off, she knows you are asking her, not that your buddies are going and you'd like her to come too. It's paid for, she knows that you'll be buying her an ice cream. It answers all the questions that make girls annoyed when you don't use the word date, and it's not a big event she has to plan, or get ready for.
Anyway, give the short date a shot when she doesn't have time for the long one. Sometimes it'll get you into doors the other one won't. Have a nice day.
2. I found a fourth player for my D&D game yesterday.
3. My wife bought me Cold Stone ice cream.
Today's post is really coming from some good advice my dad gave me in high school. At the time, I was having a really hard time aligning my schedule to the girl I was trying to date (because I was in high school and hadn't figured out that I could like more than one). I kept trying to set up these big dates on weekends, but she kept being busy (but was obviously interested at school. I'll write about when to stop asking later). I asked several times, and she was always busy. I complained to my dad about it and he gave me some advice that I still kick myself for not taking.
He said, "Paul, why do you keep trying to set up the big date? Why not just call her up on a Wednesday night and ask if you can buy her an ice cream at Dairy Queen." Of course, when I was in high school my dad was an idiot, so I scoffed and said that was the stupidest idea ever. I would continue down my path of rejection and there was nothing he could do to stop me. He dropped the issue.
Somehow, after I got home from my mission, my dad's idiotic advice suddenly became smart. Don't ask me how it happened; I still consider it a miracle. I did what he said to do, I asked girls on short quick dates that were allegedly sporadic and only took about thirty minutes. Guys, I found that the quick date is just as good as the drawn out one. Do remember that the same rules apply to the shorty: Planned, Paired Off, and Paid for. The real difference is in the call. You'll want to call about thirty minutes before you want to go on the quick date, and in the call, you need to say something slightly different than for the long date. In the short one, don't say actually say the word date. I know, this is completely against what I said before, but our society has trained us to think of dates as several hours long and something you need to 'get ready' for. Instead, you explain a date. Like this, "Hey (her name), in about half an hour I was going to go to Dairy Queen and get something. I was wondering if you'd like to come and let me buy you an ice cream." Check it out: It's planned out, you told her a time, a place, and what you'd be doing. It's paired off, she knows you are asking her, not that your buddies are going and you'd like her to come too. It's paid for, she knows that you'll be buying her an ice cream. It answers all the questions that make girls annoyed when you don't use the word date, and it's not a big event she has to plan, or get ready for.
Anyway, give the short date a shot when she doesn't have time for the long one. Sometimes it'll get you into doors the other one won't. Have a nice day.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Rule 5: A Few Things to Consider During Date Construction
1. Our teacher gave us all the answers for the Yoga test.
2. My mom made Turkey Poppy Seed Casserole.
3. My car worked again. (I know it's been a constant, but I'm still grateful for it)
So, today's post is probably a little more of a personal preference of mine than it is a hard, fast rule, but there's logic behind it that I think makes it valid enough to put on my list, and for guys to think about during date construction.
First, the logic. What should a first date be? I think it should be fun; not all dates need to be fun. Before my wife and I were married we went to a funeral of a friend of mine who had killed himself. It wasn't fun, but I'd still consider it a date. I wouldn't take a girl to a funeral on a first date if I were you ;). The date should give the two of you an opportunity to get to know each other better. That is what dating is for anyway. But, you need to consider the fact that you two don't know each other very well, so two hours of constant conversation might be a little awkward. Again, it's possible that you only asked her out because she had cool earrings on...
In considering these things, I think I have the best and worst possible first dates. Let's do worst first. In my opinion, "dinner and a movie" should be left for later dating. Let's look at it. Dinner: Let's put the two of you across from each other for an hour, with no one else there and hope you don't run out of conversation pieces before you get some food in front of you so that you can stuff your faces every time there's a laps in conversation. I would advise not going to dinner on the first unless you are doubling and there are more people to fill the void. A movie is not so much awkward as it is pointless. "I want to get to know you better, so let's stare at a screen, in a place where it is bad etiquette to talk at all. If I want to get to know you better, I'll creepily look over at you, until you notice and then I'll whip my head back toward the screen." I just don't think it's the best first date...
I'll tell you what is the best first date though: ice skating. I can hear you over the Internet, scoughing at my idea. I know that not everyone likes ice skating, and there is a possibility that she'll bruise her tail bone (as might you), but it really is the best first date option. First, does it give you a chance to talk to each other in a non-threatening space? Yes. Does it also allow for pauses in conversation without it being awkward? Why yes, because one of you can just skate off. Does it work if you, as the guy, suck at the activity? Yes. If you suck, you're like most of the world and both of you can just slide around together. If you're good at it, you can spray here, impress her with your speed, and show off with what tricks you have. Does it work if she sucks at it? Yes. Most people do suck at it, or if she's good, she can impress you. Does it take an appropriate amount of time? Yes. One or two hours of skating and her ankles will be sufficiently sore, and she'll have had fun. I submit that ice skating is the best first date, possibly preceded by dinner if you are doubling. I know it works. It was my wife's and my first date.
Have a nice day.
2. My mom made Turkey Poppy Seed Casserole.
3. My car worked again. (I know it's been a constant, but I'm still grateful for it)
So, today's post is probably a little more of a personal preference of mine than it is a hard, fast rule, but there's logic behind it that I think makes it valid enough to put on my list, and for guys to think about during date construction.
First, the logic. What should a first date be? I think it should be fun; not all dates need to be fun. Before my wife and I were married we went to a funeral of a friend of mine who had killed himself. It wasn't fun, but I'd still consider it a date. I wouldn't take a girl to a funeral on a first date if I were you ;). The date should give the two of you an opportunity to get to know each other better. That is what dating is for anyway. But, you need to consider the fact that you two don't know each other very well, so two hours of constant conversation might be a little awkward. Again, it's possible that you only asked her out because she had cool earrings on...
In considering these things, I think I have the best and worst possible first dates. Let's do worst first. In my opinion, "dinner and a movie" should be left for later dating. Let's look at it. Dinner: Let's put the two of you across from each other for an hour, with no one else there and hope you don't run out of conversation pieces before you get some food in front of you so that you can stuff your faces every time there's a laps in conversation. I would advise not going to dinner on the first unless you are doubling and there are more people to fill the void. A movie is not so much awkward as it is pointless. "I want to get to know you better, so let's stare at a screen, in a place where it is bad etiquette to talk at all. If I want to get to know you better, I'll creepily look over at you, until you notice and then I'll whip my head back toward the screen." I just don't think it's the best first date...
I'll tell you what is the best first date though: ice skating. I can hear you over the Internet, scoughing at my idea. I know that not everyone likes ice skating, and there is a possibility that she'll bruise her tail bone (as might you), but it really is the best first date option. First, does it give you a chance to talk to each other in a non-threatening space? Yes. Does it also allow for pauses in conversation without it being awkward? Why yes, because one of you can just skate off. Does it work if you, as the guy, suck at the activity? Yes. If you suck, you're like most of the world and both of you can just slide around together. If you're good at it, you can spray here, impress her with your speed, and show off with what tricks you have. Does it work if she sucks at it? Yes. Most people do suck at it, or if she's good, she can impress you. Does it take an appropriate amount of time? Yes. One or two hours of skating and her ankles will be sufficiently sore, and she'll have had fun. I submit that ice skating is the best first date, possibly preceded by dinner if you are doubling. I know it works. It was my wife's and my first date.
Have a nice day.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Rule 4: Be a Gentleman, Continued
1. Watched Sword in the Stone. It had been a while... felt good.
2. D&D went great.
3. My wife and I got to chill with a couple of great people on Saturday afternoon. We had breakfast for lunch... it was awesome.
So, we left off with the importance of opening doors. Another classic gentlemanly thing to do is help them with their chair. This is used less often, but most girls I've known eat it up... if it's done right. First off, assume that they aren't expecting you to do it. I'd speculate that 99 times out of 100, they're not expecting it, so if you don't do it, you won't come off as a jerk or anything, but if you do, you'll come off as sweet and thoughtful. Here's how you make sure it goes smoothly: Allow her to get to the table first. You do this by allowing her to follow the waiter first (I would advise you to follow by putting your hand softly on her back, but touching will depend a lot on how well you know each other and how comfortable she is with being touched, so... think about if you want to do the hand on the back. If she's comfortable she'll like it, if not, she'll be creeped. I guess good advice would be: put your hand on her back at your own discretion). When she gets to her chair and touches it, say these words loud enough for her to hear them, "Hey, let me get that for you." Then, when she acknowledges that she heard you, pull her chair out, and softly push it in so that her knees can fold her into it at a comfortable speed. You may want to try this with your mom or sister before actually trying it on a date so that you can find a good technique. Again, if you don't do it, you won't look like a jerk, so don't sweat it too much.
The rest of the physical stuff has few specifics, but just some general things to think about. Always remember that a gentleman protects, and gives appropriate space. Make sure you're always close enough to help her if she needs it, but far enough not to creep her out. Refrain from making out in public (no matter how much fun it is), unless you are completely sure that she is totally cool with making people around you uncomfortable. Stand up straight. I know our generation loves rappers and grunge artists, but you want her to feel like she's with a strong man, one who can help in times of need, and one she's proud to be with, part of that is standing straight. In fact, no matter how lame you may think it is, you should consider standing straight all of the time. Just a thought.
Next, part of making someone comfortable, is watching your language. I think we get this idea that girls want to date a rebel, so we think we need to cuss, and say crass things so that she'll think she's out with a bad ass. Guys, I know few girls who are actually in to this. Once your married girls tell you all kinds of stuff (it's like you suddenly become gender neutral), and they tell me that they don't like guys who swear a lot. They say it makes them uncomfortable, which, remember, is one of those things gentlemen don't do.
Also, think about your conversations. When you talk to her, ask about her. Girls LOVE to be asked questions. Not interrogated, but asked what they like and dislike, what their favorite movie is, what their family is like. And, as Hitch says, do not be looking at her lips, do not think about what she looks like naked, LISTEN to what she is saying, and then respond appropriately. If you do this, she'll respond to you.
Especially on the first date, stay away from sarcasm. A lot of people simply don't get it, and many people just think you're being mean. After a few dates, consider teasing a little, but keep it light. Some girls really like it, and some find it annoying. Before teasing at all, have a heart to heart with a close friend. Some sarcasm is funny, and some sarcasm is cruel. Ask them what side of sarcasm you fall under. If it's the cruel side, stop using it all together... not just in dating, always.
I really can't think of anymore specifics. Do know that being a gentleman isn't just something you do on dates, it's a lifestyle that you need to practice always. Otherwise, you'll be awkward on dates. Try it today. Try it right now. Start thinking of others, and how you can make them a little more comfortable. Think about how you can lift their spirits and keep them safe. It really is a good habit to get in for every part of your life, dating is just one of those parts.
Anyway, on to number 5 tomorrow. Have a nice day.
2. D&D went great.
3. My wife and I got to chill with a couple of great people on Saturday afternoon. We had breakfast for lunch... it was awesome.
So, we left off with the importance of opening doors. Another classic gentlemanly thing to do is help them with their chair. This is used less often, but most girls I've known eat it up... if it's done right. First off, assume that they aren't expecting you to do it. I'd speculate that 99 times out of 100, they're not expecting it, so if you don't do it, you won't come off as a jerk or anything, but if you do, you'll come off as sweet and thoughtful. Here's how you make sure it goes smoothly: Allow her to get to the table first. You do this by allowing her to follow the waiter first (I would advise you to follow by putting your hand softly on her back, but touching will depend a lot on how well you know each other and how comfortable she is with being touched, so... think about if you want to do the hand on the back. If she's comfortable she'll like it, if not, she'll be creeped. I guess good advice would be: put your hand on her back at your own discretion). When she gets to her chair and touches it, say these words loud enough for her to hear them, "Hey, let me get that for you." Then, when she acknowledges that she heard you, pull her chair out, and softly push it in so that her knees can fold her into it at a comfortable speed. You may want to try this with your mom or sister before actually trying it on a date so that you can find a good technique. Again, if you don't do it, you won't look like a jerk, so don't sweat it too much.
The rest of the physical stuff has few specifics, but just some general things to think about. Always remember that a gentleman protects, and gives appropriate space. Make sure you're always close enough to help her if she needs it, but far enough not to creep her out. Refrain from making out in public (no matter how much fun it is), unless you are completely sure that she is totally cool with making people around you uncomfortable. Stand up straight. I know our generation loves rappers and grunge artists, but you want her to feel like she's with a strong man, one who can help in times of need, and one she's proud to be with, part of that is standing straight. In fact, no matter how lame you may think it is, you should consider standing straight all of the time. Just a thought.
Next, part of making someone comfortable, is watching your language. I think we get this idea that girls want to date a rebel, so we think we need to cuss, and say crass things so that she'll think she's out with a bad ass. Guys, I know few girls who are actually in to this. Once your married girls tell you all kinds of stuff (it's like you suddenly become gender neutral), and they tell me that they don't like guys who swear a lot. They say it makes them uncomfortable, which, remember, is one of those things gentlemen don't do.
Also, think about your conversations. When you talk to her, ask about her. Girls LOVE to be asked questions. Not interrogated, but asked what they like and dislike, what their favorite movie is, what their family is like. And, as Hitch says, do not be looking at her lips, do not think about what she looks like naked, LISTEN to what she is saying, and then respond appropriately. If you do this, she'll respond to you.
Especially on the first date, stay away from sarcasm. A lot of people simply don't get it, and many people just think you're being mean. After a few dates, consider teasing a little, but keep it light. Some girls really like it, and some find it annoying. Before teasing at all, have a heart to heart with a close friend. Some sarcasm is funny, and some sarcasm is cruel. Ask them what side of sarcasm you fall under. If it's the cruel side, stop using it all together... not just in dating, always.
I really can't think of anymore specifics. Do know that being a gentleman isn't just something you do on dates, it's a lifestyle that you need to practice always. Otherwise, you'll be awkward on dates. Try it today. Try it right now. Start thinking of others, and how you can make them a little more comfortable. Think about how you can lift their spirits and keep them safe. It really is a good habit to get in for every part of your life, dating is just one of those parts.
Anyway, on to number 5 tomorrow. Have a nice day.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Rule 4: Be a Gentleman
1. Got to go to the temple with my family.
2. My dad said he'd help me write a book about dating (I learned most of what I know from him anyway).
3. I made up a few D&D encounters. First time in a long time. Felt good.
Okay, so you got a number, you made a plan, you made the call, and she said she'd go out with you. You might be feeling pretty good, but the battle is only half over. You've still got to go on the date. Now, I'm about to dispense some advice that you probably heard from your parents, or your parents', but I'll tell you why that advice is still legit, and why it's in your best interest. Guy, you're going to want to be a gentleman.
Now, we will need to define what a gentleman is in this context. When you ask a girl out, you're expecting that she'll be willing to spend the evening with you. I don't fully understand women, but any dad will tell you that when you ask a girl out, she has the right to expect that you'll take care of her and keep her safe. That my friends, is what a gentleman is. He's someone who is willing to put others ahead of himself, and make them as comfortable as possible.
Let's start with the pick up. BE ON TIME, and if you're not going to be on time, give her a call (again, God gave us cell phones for a reason). I hope, that you hope, that she's excited to go out with you, but that excitement will quickly dissipate if you're more than five minutes late. At the same time though, dont' be too early. Girls are going to try and look as good as they can for the date, and because of that, they'll be getting ready right up until you get there (and sometimes a little longer). If you're too early, she's not going to be ready, and it'll be awkward. A good rule of thumb is to be no more than five minutes early or late without a phone call.
When you get there, walk to the door and ring the bell. I know this seems like something I shouldn't need to bring up, but I've heard too many horn honking stories to leave it out.
If you're in high school, her parents are going to want to shake the hand of the guy who is going to be protecting their little girl that night. Guys, look her parents in the eye when you shake their hands. When I was in high school I got in a bad habit of looking down when I shook people's hands. It wasn't until I went to Switzerland to my uncle's basketball camp that I learned what I was doing wrong. He would take me and my cousins to meet the marketing people that were sponsoring his camp, and one time, he pulled me aside, and in his wonderful way, he said to me, "Paul, why don't you look them in the eye when you shake their hand? It's hard to connect with or trust a person who won't look you in the eye when you shake their hand. You represent me and my family when you meet these people. I need you to look them in the eye." I've been grateful ever since, and don't think I've given a hand shake without looking the recipient in the eye. Look her parents in the eye, let them know that you have the character to take their girl out.
Now, you have probably already guessed what I'm going to say next. Gentlemen open doors, but do you know why? It comes back to protecting her. There are actually times when you should walk in before she does. Here's the rule for opening doors: If you know you're going into somewhere safe, open the door and let her go first. She should be able to get out of the weather, and you should be proud to be escorting her. This is why you need to open the door for her when getting into your car (or at least I sure hope your car is safe). Now, if you are walking into a place, and you're not sure about the safety, you walk in first, and hold the door so she can walk in unhindered. Again, if someone wants to hurt the next person who walks through the door, make it you, and not her.
With this last bit of advice, I need to give a little advice to you ladies. I know that some of you are very independent, and you may see a guy opening your door as shovenist in some way. You are entitled to your opinion on this point, but on a first date, please don't freak out when he opens your door, just let him do it. Take it as him being a gentleman who wants to make sure you are comfortable. If it's really an issue, let him know on the second or third date. I can promise that if a girl got mad at me for opening the door on a first date, there would not be a second. Guys, please do note that women are capable. They can open doors by their onesy, so if she opens her door to the car, or if she happens to get to the door before you do, don't freak out. I actually know of some guys who yell and tell them not to touch the door handle. When you do this, you don't come off as a gentleman, you come off as an egotist.
I hate to do this, but this is getting long. I'm afraid we're going to need to make this a two parter also. I'll finish it up on Monday. Have a nice day.
2. My dad said he'd help me write a book about dating (I learned most of what I know from him anyway).
3. I made up a few D&D encounters. First time in a long time. Felt good.
Okay, so you got a number, you made a plan, you made the call, and she said she'd go out with you. You might be feeling pretty good, but the battle is only half over. You've still got to go on the date. Now, I'm about to dispense some advice that you probably heard from your parents, or your parents', but I'll tell you why that advice is still legit, and why it's in your best interest. Guy, you're going to want to be a gentleman.
Now, we will need to define what a gentleman is in this context. When you ask a girl out, you're expecting that she'll be willing to spend the evening with you. I don't fully understand women, but any dad will tell you that when you ask a girl out, she has the right to expect that you'll take care of her and keep her safe. That my friends, is what a gentleman is. He's someone who is willing to put others ahead of himself, and make them as comfortable as possible.
Let's start with the pick up. BE ON TIME, and if you're not going to be on time, give her a call (again, God gave us cell phones for a reason). I hope, that you hope, that she's excited to go out with you, but that excitement will quickly dissipate if you're more than five minutes late. At the same time though, dont' be too early. Girls are going to try and look as good as they can for the date, and because of that, they'll be getting ready right up until you get there (and sometimes a little longer). If you're too early, she's not going to be ready, and it'll be awkward. A good rule of thumb is to be no more than five minutes early or late without a phone call.
When you get there, walk to the door and ring the bell. I know this seems like something I shouldn't need to bring up, but I've heard too many horn honking stories to leave it out.
If you're in high school, her parents are going to want to shake the hand of the guy who is going to be protecting their little girl that night. Guys, look her parents in the eye when you shake their hands. When I was in high school I got in a bad habit of looking down when I shook people's hands. It wasn't until I went to Switzerland to my uncle's basketball camp that I learned what I was doing wrong. He would take me and my cousins to meet the marketing people that were sponsoring his camp, and one time, he pulled me aside, and in his wonderful way, he said to me, "Paul, why don't you look them in the eye when you shake their hand? It's hard to connect with or trust a person who won't look you in the eye when you shake their hand. You represent me and my family when you meet these people. I need you to look them in the eye." I've been grateful ever since, and don't think I've given a hand shake without looking the recipient in the eye. Look her parents in the eye, let them know that you have the character to take their girl out.
Now, you have probably already guessed what I'm going to say next. Gentlemen open doors, but do you know why? It comes back to protecting her. There are actually times when you should walk in before she does. Here's the rule for opening doors: If you know you're going into somewhere safe, open the door and let her go first. She should be able to get out of the weather, and you should be proud to be escorting her. This is why you need to open the door for her when getting into your car (or at least I sure hope your car is safe). Now, if you are walking into a place, and you're not sure about the safety, you walk in first, and hold the door so she can walk in unhindered. Again, if someone wants to hurt the next person who walks through the door, make it you, and not her.
With this last bit of advice, I need to give a little advice to you ladies. I know that some of you are very independent, and you may see a guy opening your door as shovenist in some way. You are entitled to your opinion on this point, but on a first date, please don't freak out when he opens your door, just let him do it. Take it as him being a gentleman who wants to make sure you are comfortable. If it's really an issue, let him know on the second or third date. I can promise that if a girl got mad at me for opening the door on a first date, there would not be a second. Guys, please do note that women are capable. They can open doors by their onesy, so if she opens her door to the car, or if she happens to get to the door before you do, don't freak out. I actually know of some guys who yell and tell them not to touch the door handle. When you do this, you don't come off as a gentleman, you come off as an egotist.
I hate to do this, but this is getting long. I'm afraid we're going to need to make this a two parter also. I'll finish it up on Monday. Have a nice day.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Rule 3: Let's Work on Your Pick Up Line, Continued, or, What to Do Once You Have that Number
1. I did a group presentation in one of my classes and got 140/150.
2. My wife and I watched the episode of The Office where Pam has her baby while we cuddled on the couch and hugged at times that reminded us of us.
3. Because I've been so focused on said presentation, I forgot to do another assignment for another class, but I can still email it to him today. *Sighs with relief*
"Hey! Do you like apples?"
"...Yeah."
"Well I got her numbe'. How do you like dem apples?"
-Good Will Hunting
In case you didn't read the comments from yesterday, my good friend Ashley brought up a good point: If you do have time to get to know them before asking for digits, do so. You'll come off as mildly less creepy. If you: A. Don't have time to have a conversation before she walks out of your life for good, or B. You don't have the ability to strike up a conversation with a stranger without it being awkward, just use the line I gave you.
So now you've got her number. Feels good right? It waits in your phone or pocket for just the right moment. Let me tell you, the moment to use it is the day you get it. NOT to ask her on that date. Guys, God has given us a great tool, so that we might seem less creepy, that tool is texting. Little known fact among guys: Lots of girls won't answer a call from a number they don't know. You're not going to call them for a couple of days, and as cool as you might think you are, you probably didn't make a solid enough impression during that minute when you got her number for her to remember you (assuming she answers the phone at all). So, if you got her cell, and you don't know each other from school or something, shoot her a text that goes like this, "Hey (her name), this is (your first and last name). I just wanted to send you a text so that you would know that this number is mine when I call you. Thanks." Keep it short, sweet, and to the point. Again, the goal here is not to sound creepy. Try and resist the urge to do the flirext (where you flirt in text, dbs, this one's for you). No matter how sweet you may think it sounds to tell her that she looked nice that day, it will only read as creepy, and she'll regret giving you that number.
Before you give her a call, let's get one thing straight: She has a life. She has friends, and family, and work, and school, and a dog named Tink (who you will come to love, but who has a name that you will laugh at every time you take her out to make water, because you will think of the two missing letters in her name). Because she is busy, let's get a plan together. First off, what day and time? I recommend having two ready, so that she doesn't have to feel like a jerk when she can't do it on the one day you give her. You do need to deliver it right though. Do not have the convo go like this:
"Hey (her name), I was wondering if you might be able to go on the date this Friday at seven."
"I'm so sorry, I'm busy that night."
"Oh... Well, would Saturday at six work?"
Do you see how this makes it sound like you have no life what-so-ever and you're just giving days and times because you have every night free from now 'til Christmas? Try an approach more like this:
"Hey (her name), I was looking at my calendar, and I can do the date this Thursday at seven, or Saturday at six. Do either of those times work for you?"
Do you see how this sounds a little more like you have a life. This does two things, it doubles your chances of having her say yes (because she has double the options), and subconsciously, it let's her know that you are a guy with a life, and that she is awesome enough for you to make time for her. I guess that's more like three things. Oh, well.
So, you have the day and time picked out. Please, have things figured out before you call her. Let her know appropriate clothing for what you're doing (if you're going to a nice dinner and she shows up in jeans, she's gonna feel dumb, and you'd better enjoy this one hour you have to be in her life, because you will not get another). Also, let her know about how long you'll be out. Be realistic on time, and remember that a first date need not be more than an hour or two. She may be telling her friend that she can hang out if her date doesn't go all night. Let her know so she can plan the rest of her day by giving her an approximation on how long the date should last. Also, if you decide that plans are going to change, call her immediately. She needs to know as soon as possible so she can plan, or tell you that she can't do it if you're going to make those changes. If you don't, she'll feel like a jerk, and won't want to see you again. When I first called my wife, I told her that I wanted to go ice skating and that the wholde date would take about an hour and a half (with drive time and all). Then, a couple of days later, my work gave me a pretty good gift card to P.F. Cheng's, and I thought dinner before skating might be nice. So, what did I do? I gave her a call, let her know that I know we had planned on an hour and a half, but that I thought dinner might be nice too, and did she have time to tack on another hour for dinner. Guys, when people ask my wife what most impressed her about me, this story is always one of the first she tells. Let her in on your plan.
Also, do not pick her up and then turn to her and say, "Hey, so what do you wanna do?" Contrary to what you might think, she might not have been thinking about this date for the whole week like you should have. If you want some advice on what she wants to do, either do some recon while you're talking to her on the first meeting, so you have an idea of what she likes, or give her two or three options when you pick her up. Do not force your creative responsibility on to her. After a few dates with her, go ahead and be impulsive. Impulsivity is fun sometimes... just not on first dates.
One of the leaders in my church gave some good advice that I think wraps up what I'm trying to say here pretty well. He said that when you ask a girl on a date, there are three P's that make it an actual date. Paired off, Planned out, and Paid for. If you are missing any of these three, it is not a date. So date. Don't do something else.
Have a nice day guys.
2. My wife and I watched the episode of The Office where Pam has her baby while we cuddled on the couch and hugged at times that reminded us of us.
3. Because I've been so focused on said presentation, I forgot to do another assignment for another class, but I can still email it to him today. *Sighs with relief*
"Hey! Do you like apples?"
"...Yeah."
"Well I got her numbe'. How do you like dem apples?"
-Good Will Hunting
In case you didn't read the comments from yesterday, my good friend Ashley brought up a good point: If you do have time to get to know them before asking for digits, do so. You'll come off as mildly less creepy. If you: A. Don't have time to have a conversation before she walks out of your life for good, or B. You don't have the ability to strike up a conversation with a stranger without it being awkward, just use the line I gave you.
So now you've got her number. Feels good right? It waits in your phone or pocket for just the right moment. Let me tell you, the moment to use it is the day you get it. NOT to ask her on that date. Guys, God has given us a great tool, so that we might seem less creepy, that tool is texting. Little known fact among guys: Lots of girls won't answer a call from a number they don't know. You're not going to call them for a couple of days, and as cool as you might think you are, you probably didn't make a solid enough impression during that minute when you got her number for her to remember you (assuming she answers the phone at all). So, if you got her cell, and you don't know each other from school or something, shoot her a text that goes like this, "Hey (her name), this is (your first and last name). I just wanted to send you a text so that you would know that this number is mine when I call you. Thanks." Keep it short, sweet, and to the point. Again, the goal here is not to sound creepy. Try and resist the urge to do the flirext (where you flirt in text, dbs, this one's for you). No matter how sweet you may think it sounds to tell her that she looked nice that day, it will only read as creepy, and she'll regret giving you that number.
Before you give her a call, let's get one thing straight: She has a life. She has friends, and family, and work, and school, and a dog named Tink (who you will come to love, but who has a name that you will laugh at every time you take her out to make water, because you will think of the two missing letters in her name). Because she is busy, let's get a plan together. First off, what day and time? I recommend having two ready, so that she doesn't have to feel like a jerk when she can't do it on the one day you give her. You do need to deliver it right though. Do not have the convo go like this:
"Hey (her name), I was wondering if you might be able to go on the date this Friday at seven."
"I'm so sorry, I'm busy that night."
"Oh... Well, would Saturday at six work?"
Do you see how this makes it sound like you have no life what-so-ever and you're just giving days and times because you have every night free from now 'til Christmas? Try an approach more like this:
"Hey (her name), I was looking at my calendar, and I can do the date this Thursday at seven, or Saturday at six. Do either of those times work for you?"
Do you see how this sounds a little more like you have a life. This does two things, it doubles your chances of having her say yes (because she has double the options), and subconsciously, it let's her know that you are a guy with a life, and that she is awesome enough for you to make time for her. I guess that's more like three things. Oh, well.
So, you have the day and time picked out. Please, have things figured out before you call her. Let her know appropriate clothing for what you're doing (if you're going to a nice dinner and she shows up in jeans, she's gonna feel dumb, and you'd better enjoy this one hour you have to be in her life, because you will not get another). Also, let her know about how long you'll be out. Be realistic on time, and remember that a first date need not be more than an hour or two. She may be telling her friend that she can hang out if her date doesn't go all night. Let her know so she can plan the rest of her day by giving her an approximation on how long the date should last. Also, if you decide that plans are going to change, call her immediately. She needs to know as soon as possible so she can plan, or tell you that she can't do it if you're going to make those changes. If you don't, she'll feel like a jerk, and won't want to see you again. When I first called my wife, I told her that I wanted to go ice skating and that the wholde date would take about an hour and a half (with drive time and all). Then, a couple of days later, my work gave me a pretty good gift card to P.F. Cheng's, and I thought dinner before skating might be nice. So, what did I do? I gave her a call, let her know that I know we had planned on an hour and a half, but that I thought dinner might be nice too, and did she have time to tack on another hour for dinner. Guys, when people ask my wife what most impressed her about me, this story is always one of the first she tells. Let her in on your plan.
Also, do not pick her up and then turn to her and say, "Hey, so what do you wanna do?" Contrary to what you might think, she might not have been thinking about this date for the whole week like you should have. If you want some advice on what she wants to do, either do some recon while you're talking to her on the first meeting, so you have an idea of what she likes, or give her two or three options when you pick her up. Do not force your creative responsibility on to her. After a few dates with her, go ahead and be impulsive. Impulsivity is fun sometimes... just not on first dates.
One of the leaders in my church gave some good advice that I think wraps up what I'm trying to say here pretty well. He said that when you ask a girl on a date, there are three P's that make it an actual date. Paired off, Planned out, and Paid for. If you are missing any of these three, it is not a date. So date. Don't do something else.
Have a nice day guys.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Rule 3: Let's Work on Your Pick Up Line
1. I made the Dean's list last semester.
2. I missed Yoga all last week, and paid for it on Wednesday when we worked on transitions. The pain was marvelous. (I'm not even joking)
3. My wife's tummy was measured, and she's the size she is supposed to be. Also, Baby J's heart still beats and my wife is gaining and appropriate amount of weight. Feels good.
Okay, so now you know that the trick to dating is to realize that it's a numbers game, and that you should ask anyone out who is remotely interesting, but how do you do it. We'll have to work on pick up lines here. Everyone seems to have what they think is the best line ever. Usually the line is funny and is supposed to show how charming they are. (When in Switzerland, I met a Danish guy who tried to teach me a pick up line in Danish. He said the translation was, "Hey you're super cute, does your daddy need a new son-in-law." He said it worked every time). I'm here to give you the best pick up line ever. It has been tested, tried, and is found to be bona fide (an actual legal word. Weird huh?). The line is, this is going to blow your mind, "Hi, my name is ______, what's yours?" Did you feel that? Those chills that let you know that you've just heard pure genius? I'm not even joking. As funny as, "Did it hurt?" She asks what? "Falling from heaven." is a nice sentiment, telling her your name, then asking for hers, actually works. It let's her know that you are willing to divulge appropriate information (showing that you're not a creeper) and that you are interested in more than sex, you know, something like her name.
Now that you have her name, the next line is CRUCIAL. After she tells you her name, you may want to grab a brown paper bag and be sure to be sitting down, you say, "I was wondering if I could get your phone number so that I can ask you on a date." (bolded for emphasis, not for you to yell it). Okay, now breathe. I know this seems like the craziest thing to say, and I know that word is scary, but let me tell you an anecdote. When I stopped my awesome earringed soon to be wife in church, she was sick and remembered very little of the exchange. The convo went like this:
"Hey, my name is Paul, you know, like the Apostle, or McCarty. What's yours?"
"______."
"'Me butchering her name?'"
"No, it's _______."
"Oh, okay. Well that's a nice name. I was wondering if I could get your phone number so that I could ask you on a date."
"Oh, yeah, it's _______."
"Awesome. Well, I'll call you sometime this week to figure things out."
She then walked out of the building to go home so that she could try and take some medication that might make her feel better.
She told me later that she remembered two things about the conversation. 1. That I used one of the Beatles to introduce myself. 2. That I asked her on a DATE. I didn't ask her if she "wanted to do something," or worse, if she "wanted to chill sometime." She told me, and I've had several girls back her up, that they HATE when they don't know what they'll be doing, because they don't know what to expect. Will we be paired? Will you be planning it, or are we just hanging out? Will you be paying for it, or should I bring money? (Girls, always bring money. You never know when some guy is going to be lame). Guys, you need to use the word 'date' in your asking so that they aren't left guessing.
I'll actually splitting this one into two days because I have a lot more to say about it, and I've promised to keep my posts short. This rule straight up works though..You could actually get to asking today, and tomorrow I'll be telling you how to go about doing things once you have those digits. Get excited. Anyway, I've got to run. Have a nice day.
2. I missed Yoga all last week, and paid for it on Wednesday when we worked on transitions. The pain was marvelous. (I'm not even joking)
3. My wife's tummy was measured, and she's the size she is supposed to be. Also, Baby J's heart still beats and my wife is gaining and appropriate amount of weight. Feels good.
Okay, so now you know that the trick to dating is to realize that it's a numbers game, and that you should ask anyone out who is remotely interesting, but how do you do it. We'll have to work on pick up lines here. Everyone seems to have what they think is the best line ever. Usually the line is funny and is supposed to show how charming they are. (When in Switzerland, I met a Danish guy who tried to teach me a pick up line in Danish. He said the translation was, "Hey you're super cute, does your daddy need a new son-in-law." He said it worked every time). I'm here to give you the best pick up line ever. It has been tested, tried, and is found to be bona fide (an actual legal word. Weird huh?). The line is, this is going to blow your mind, "Hi, my name is ______, what's yours?" Did you feel that? Those chills that let you know that you've just heard pure genius? I'm not even joking. As funny as, "Did it hurt?" She asks what? "Falling from heaven." is a nice sentiment, telling her your name, then asking for hers, actually works. It let's her know that you are willing to divulge appropriate information (showing that you're not a creeper) and that you are interested in more than sex, you know, something like her name.
Now that you have her name, the next line is CRUCIAL. After she tells you her name, you may want to grab a brown paper bag and be sure to be sitting down, you say, "I was wondering if I could get your phone number so that I can ask you on a date." (bolded for emphasis, not for you to yell it). Okay, now breathe. I know this seems like the craziest thing to say, and I know that word is scary, but let me tell you an anecdote. When I stopped my awesome earringed soon to be wife in church, she was sick and remembered very little of the exchange. The convo went like this:
"Hey, my name is Paul, you know, like the Apostle, or McCarty. What's yours?"
"______."
"'Me butchering her name?'"
"No, it's _______."
"Oh, okay. Well that's a nice name. I was wondering if I could get your phone number so that I could ask you on a date."
"Oh, yeah, it's _______."
"Awesome. Well, I'll call you sometime this week to figure things out."
She then walked out of the building to go home so that she could try and take some medication that might make her feel better.
She told me later that she remembered two things about the conversation. 1. That I used one of the Beatles to introduce myself. 2. That I asked her on a DATE. I didn't ask her if she "wanted to do something," or worse, if she "wanted to chill sometime." She told me, and I've had several girls back her up, that they HATE when they don't know what they'll be doing, because they don't know what to expect. Will we be paired? Will you be planning it, or are we just hanging out? Will you be paying for it, or should I bring money? (Girls, always bring money. You never know when some guy is going to be lame). Guys, you need to use the word 'date' in your asking so that they aren't left guessing.
I'll actually splitting this one into two days because I have a lot more to say about it, and I've promised to keep my posts short. This rule straight up works though..You could actually get to asking today, and tomorrow I'll be telling you how to go about doing things once you have those digits. Get excited. Anyway, I've got to run. Have a nice day.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Rule 2: Beating the Normal Curve at its Own Game
1. My second class got cancelled, and due to a good friend, I actually used the time to get some homework done.
2. My mom drove me to school this morning, so I didn't have to find a parking spot.
3. None of the stuff that was worked on has broken.
Well boys, here's number two. I know that number one may have come as a shock to you, and you may be having trouble finding your hope again (even though I told you to keep your heads up). This post, my friends, should give you hope.
I remember the exact moment that I realized the second rule. I was in Phoenix living with my cousin. He is a few years older than me and would occasionally be nice enough to invite me along when he and his friends would go and do stuff. We went to a restaurant (I can't remember which one) and as we waited we all happened to see a very cute girl. We took a poll between all of us and came to the conclusion that none of us would be ashamed to have her out with us. We all just sat and chuckled at the fact that we all thought she was cute, all of us but one guy: my cousin. He did smile some, but then he said, "You know what guys? I'm going to go and ask her out." The chuckling ceased immediately as the rest of us watched my cousin walk over to her. I felt nervous for him. Now, my cousin is a really cool guy, but to just walk up to a complete stranger and ask for their number takes some guts. We all tried to not let her notice that we were watching, but I don't think we did well. We saw the body language. For whatever reason, she was not interested. My cousin then turned and walked back to us.
It was amazing to me. He had walked up to a girl in a public place, asked for her number, got rejected, and still had the ability to walk back to us. His head didn't explode, her boyfriend didn't appear out of nowhere with a gun. He asked, she said no, and he lived to tell about it as the bravest of us all. I talked to him about dating before the incident, and he gave me some of the best dating advice I'd ever received. He said, "Paul, dating is a numbers game. The more you ask, the better the odds are that one will say yes." Now, the logic of it made perfect sense: The more you ask, the more that will say yes, but I was afraid. What would happen if they rejected me? I watched him saunter back to us, head up and smiling at what looked to be his failure, but in that moment, I recalled what he had said about the numbers game, and I realized that he was the only one of us who had succeeded. He had one more rejection under his belt, while the rest of us still had to face that one to find what we were after.
After that time I've reflected on my high school years. I remember the game. I remember the question: who do you like? You were supposed to like someONE. You were supposed to think about only her, or maybe only a couple of others. Guys in high school or younger, let me give you a piece of advice that my dad tried to give me, and I pray it will stick with some of you: Date a lot of different girls. Remember, dating is a numbers game, and if you get caught up on only a few (or even worse, one), you'll be missing out on more fun than you can possibly imagine. I'll use myself as an example. When I realized that dating was a numbers game and that getting rejected wouldn't result in my head being bitten off by a grizzly, I started asking lots of girls out. If they were cute, or interesting, or had cool earrings (honey, I'm still looking at you), or had a cool world view, or whatever, I asked them out. The real trouble with doing what you're SUPPOSED to do in high school, is that you get stuck in ruts. You decide on those few girls, and you'll find that they are mostly the same. I'm sure some of you have friends who have had a lot of girl friends, but all of those relationships have ended the same way. Well is it any wonder? He's been dating the same girl with a different name. The trick is to date anyone who is remotely interesting, then you'll find out what is fun, what works, and what simply doesn't. I met my wife for the first time when she was walking out of a church building after the main meeting. I saw that she wore some of the coolest wooden earrings that I had ever seen, and any girl who wore that cool of earrings, had to be awesome. So I asked her out, and she ended up being exactly what I was looking for. And that happened after countless dates that were super fun, but didn't go to fruition. Dating had become a blast, and that's when I found the ultimate success.
For some of you, money may seem like the issue. I'm here to tell you that it is not. How much are two ice cream cones? Is there a set of swings near your house? Have you looked into free concerts, or museums, or art exhibits near your house? I promise you that dating often does not have to be an expensive endeavour, if you willing to be creative. Girls, real girls, don't care if a date costs a lot, what they really care about is that you put some thought into it, but that's for a later post.
Now, most of you have probably already figured out how this relates to that wonderful normal curve, but I'll spell it out just in case. No matter how 'abnormal' you are, there is someone looking for someone like you. Chances are, if you've been doing what high school tells you to (whether you're still in high school or not), you've been dating the same kinds of girls, and have had poor luck because they are all the same. The way to beat the curve, is to get past that and date as many girls as possible who are as different from each other as possible. The more you date, the closer you'll be to finding that one. In case it's not already beaten into your head: dating is a numbers game. Have a nice day.
2. My mom drove me to school this morning, so I didn't have to find a parking spot.
3. None of the stuff that was worked on has broken.
Well boys, here's number two. I know that number one may have come as a shock to you, and you may be having trouble finding your hope again (even though I told you to keep your heads up). This post, my friends, should give you hope.
I remember the exact moment that I realized the second rule. I was in Phoenix living with my cousin. He is a few years older than me and would occasionally be nice enough to invite me along when he and his friends would go and do stuff. We went to a restaurant (I can't remember which one) and as we waited we all happened to see a very cute girl. We took a poll between all of us and came to the conclusion that none of us would be ashamed to have her out with us. We all just sat and chuckled at the fact that we all thought she was cute, all of us but one guy: my cousin. He did smile some, but then he said, "You know what guys? I'm going to go and ask her out." The chuckling ceased immediately as the rest of us watched my cousin walk over to her. I felt nervous for him. Now, my cousin is a really cool guy, but to just walk up to a complete stranger and ask for their number takes some guts. We all tried to not let her notice that we were watching, but I don't think we did well. We saw the body language. For whatever reason, she was not interested. My cousin then turned and walked back to us.
It was amazing to me. He had walked up to a girl in a public place, asked for her number, got rejected, and still had the ability to walk back to us. His head didn't explode, her boyfriend didn't appear out of nowhere with a gun. He asked, she said no, and he lived to tell about it as the bravest of us all. I talked to him about dating before the incident, and he gave me some of the best dating advice I'd ever received. He said, "Paul, dating is a numbers game. The more you ask, the better the odds are that one will say yes." Now, the logic of it made perfect sense: The more you ask, the more that will say yes, but I was afraid. What would happen if they rejected me? I watched him saunter back to us, head up and smiling at what looked to be his failure, but in that moment, I recalled what he had said about the numbers game, and I realized that he was the only one of us who had succeeded. He had one more rejection under his belt, while the rest of us still had to face that one to find what we were after.
After that time I've reflected on my high school years. I remember the game. I remember the question: who do you like? You were supposed to like someONE. You were supposed to think about only her, or maybe only a couple of others. Guys in high school or younger, let me give you a piece of advice that my dad tried to give me, and I pray it will stick with some of you: Date a lot of different girls. Remember, dating is a numbers game, and if you get caught up on only a few (or even worse, one), you'll be missing out on more fun than you can possibly imagine. I'll use myself as an example. When I realized that dating was a numbers game and that getting rejected wouldn't result in my head being bitten off by a grizzly, I started asking lots of girls out. If they were cute, or interesting, or had cool earrings (honey, I'm still looking at you), or had a cool world view, or whatever, I asked them out. The real trouble with doing what you're SUPPOSED to do in high school, is that you get stuck in ruts. You decide on those few girls, and you'll find that they are mostly the same. I'm sure some of you have friends who have had a lot of girl friends, but all of those relationships have ended the same way. Well is it any wonder? He's been dating the same girl with a different name. The trick is to date anyone who is remotely interesting, then you'll find out what is fun, what works, and what simply doesn't. I met my wife for the first time when she was walking out of a church building after the main meeting. I saw that she wore some of the coolest wooden earrings that I had ever seen, and any girl who wore that cool of earrings, had to be awesome. So I asked her out, and she ended up being exactly what I was looking for. And that happened after countless dates that were super fun, but didn't go to fruition. Dating had become a blast, and that's when I found the ultimate success.
For some of you, money may seem like the issue. I'm here to tell you that it is not. How much are two ice cream cones? Is there a set of swings near your house? Have you looked into free concerts, or museums, or art exhibits near your house? I promise you that dating often does not have to be an expensive endeavour, if you willing to be creative. Girls, real girls, don't care if a date costs a lot, what they really care about is that you put some thought into it, but that's for a later post.
Now, most of you have probably already figured out how this relates to that wonderful normal curve, but I'll spell it out just in case. No matter how 'abnormal' you are, there is someone looking for someone like you. Chances are, if you've been doing what high school tells you to (whether you're still in high school or not), you've been dating the same kinds of girls, and have had poor luck because they are all the same. The way to beat the curve, is to get past that and date as many girls as possible who are as different from each other as possible. The more you date, the closer you'll be to finding that one. In case it's not already beaten into your head: dating is a numbers game. Have a nice day.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Rule 1: There is Someone Looking for You
1. I figured out that the next installment of D&D will be this Saturday.
2. I tasted my first Nehi.
3. When we came to my parents' house for the first time after our vacation, my sister's dog went nuts because she was so excited to see us.
Here it is, the first installment of dating tips from Paul. Well, this one isn't so much a tip, as an observation. But first, we need to have a statistics lesson. WAIT! Don't leave, it will be quick, I promise.
Whenever things in nature are measured (including humans), the measurements usually make a bell curve that looks like this:
There it is folks, in all its glory. To put it in easy to understand terms, let's say we took all the men in America and lined them up from shortest to tallest. Chances are, we'd get lots of guys around 5'10", and very few around 3' or 8'. Now look at the curve above. Do you see how the measurements would eventually make this curve, with guys who are between 5'9" and 5'11" making the blue part, and guys 3' or 8' making the orange parts? Okay, you now understand the basics of the normal curve and know enough to read the rest of my post.
What people are, and what they want in a spouse also follow the normal curve. Meaning that if you are mostly normal in most things, there's a better chance that you'll find someone who will want to marry you... unless you are normal in every way, in which case, your overall normalness will make you abnormal, and you'll have a hard time finding a spouse, because you are boring... there, I said it.
Let's take me for example (because I've found that people get offended when I use them as examples for the normal curve). I am a dork. The fact that I'm a DM makes me abnormal. The fact that I want to be a writer makes me abnormal. The fact that I am LDS, chew my fingernails, cry when I read certain Dr. Seuss stories, play video games that have no multi-player options, sleep a lot, blog, and love to critique movies, makes me abnormal. This is why my mom says that I march to my own drummer, and my best man said that I dated a lot of girls, but none of them were really right for me, at my wedding. I AM WEIRD. Because I am weird, there were few girls who would have been happy being married to me. I know this. I'm cool with it.
Now, some of you may be saying to yourself, "Self, you're screwed. Paul just said that you are on one of the outlying parts of the normal curve, which means few people will be happy marrying you." Here's the deal guy (or girl, this post goes for you too), there is someone looking for you. I'm super weird, and I still found someone who adores me. And truth be told, my wife doesn't hit dead center on the normal curve on many attributes either, but guess what? I was looking for what my wife is. I didn't want someone super normal, I knew many of those normal people wouldn't be right for me. The fact that my wife was on the orange part of the curve on so many things, made me love her.
So, here's the big advice for today: The normal curve exists. There's a good chance that you are an outlier in some way. That's good though, because there is someone looking for an outlier like you. So don't get discouraged, it just might take you a little more time than your cousin who is 5'11" and has no idea what Wolverine's actual powers are. There are more girls looking for him than are looking for you, but some are still looking for someone just like you, so keep your head up.
Have a nice day.
2. I tasted my first Nehi.
3. When we came to my parents' house for the first time after our vacation, my sister's dog went nuts because she was so excited to see us.
Here it is, the first installment of dating tips from Paul. Well, this one isn't so much a tip, as an observation. But first, we need to have a statistics lesson. WAIT! Don't leave, it will be quick, I promise.
Whenever things in nature are measured (including humans), the measurements usually make a bell curve that looks like this:
What people are, and what they want in a spouse also follow the normal curve. Meaning that if you are mostly normal in most things, there's a better chance that you'll find someone who will want to marry you... unless you are normal in every way, in which case, your overall normalness will make you abnormal, and you'll have a hard time finding a spouse, because you are boring... there, I said it.
Let's take me for example (because I've found that people get offended when I use them as examples for the normal curve). I am a dork. The fact that I'm a DM makes me abnormal. The fact that I want to be a writer makes me abnormal. The fact that I am LDS, chew my fingernails, cry when I read certain Dr. Seuss stories, play video games that have no multi-player options, sleep a lot, blog, and love to critique movies, makes me abnormal. This is why my mom says that I march to my own drummer, and my best man said that I dated a lot of girls, but none of them were really right for me, at my wedding. I AM WEIRD. Because I am weird, there were few girls who would have been happy being married to me. I know this. I'm cool with it.
Now, some of you may be saying to yourself, "Self, you're screwed. Paul just said that you are on one of the outlying parts of the normal curve, which means few people will be happy marrying you." Here's the deal guy (or girl, this post goes for you too), there is someone looking for you. I'm super weird, and I still found someone who adores me. And truth be told, my wife doesn't hit dead center on the normal curve on many attributes either, but guess what? I was looking for what my wife is. I didn't want someone super normal, I knew many of those normal people wouldn't be right for me. The fact that my wife was on the orange part of the curve on so many things, made me love her.
So, here's the big advice for today: The normal curve exists. There's a good chance that you are an outlier in some way. That's good though, because there is someone looking for an outlier like you. So don't get discouraged, it just might take you a little more time than your cousin who is 5'11" and has no idea what Wolverine's actual powers are. There are more girls looking for him than are looking for you, but some are still looking for someone just like you, so keep your head up.
Have a nice day.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Somethin' New (or at least something I came up with while my computer has been broken)
1. My computer got fixed.
2. My wife and I went on a minny vacation.
3. She took me on a date in her home town.
You read right folks, my computer is officially fixed. Our Internet has given up, but our computer is fixed. I don't have any time today to catch up, but I will tomorrow morning, and then I'll be posting messages on your blogs, and being my usual pesty self.
On to today's topic! In my absence, well, really just last night, I came up with a few ideas about what I could blog about. One was about my thoughts on America's public school system, and how it's not as bad as we all think that it is (as a system anyway), but that would take time, and energy, and a thought process, all of which are shut off because it's Presidents' Day.
So, we'll just have to wait to write about that another day (it's in my drafts though, so if any of you got excited it will be coming in the future). My other idea that I liked a lot came to me in the middle of the night, when I thought about the young men in my family, and advice that I dispense so readily about dating, and how all of those great pearls of wisdom are not in one place. Then I thought, why don't I put them all on blog land in ten posts (one post for each tidbit of advice). I don't like to admit it, but I also thought about how that would give me eleven days of blogging ideas if you included the introduction to the idea, and I think we all know how hard it is to come up with material. I felt it was genius.
To begin, let's quickly get something out on the table: I was not a natural at dating. I know this probably comes as a surprise to a lot of you, what with my wordsmithing ability, the speed at which I beat Xbox games, and let's be honest, what girl doesn't want to go out with a Dungeon Master, right? But, even with all of that going for me, the girls really didn't "fall all over me" as it were. I also didn't really understand a few things about dating. I didn't understand the laws of odds, or the opportunities I had to go on inexpensive dates. I didn't get many hours at my job and, therefore, didn't really have the money to date often, or at least I didn't have as much as I thought I needed.
Also, I wasn't much of a planner. In my religion, girls in high school are advised to go on group dates, and some were very strict on the matter. So, not only did I need to find a time when her and I could go, I needed to find when she, my buddy, his date, and I could go. I also found out that the more people who are involved = a bigger possibility that one will flake, and if that one flakes, and there were only two couples, the date was toast. It was a serious issue that I never figured out how to resolve.
After my mission though, I spent some time with a certain cousin in Phoenix. I wanted to date, but was finding little success. He shared a few things with me, and, my blogging community, things took off for me. I suddenly figured out how to date a lot. Things weren't peaches and cream right from the start, but with a little trial and error I came up with some rules for dating that I mixed in with a few rules I had figured out in high school. I can honestly say that without these rules I never would have even found my wife... I'm not even joking.
Now, I must admit that most of my rules will be for the fella's, because, you know, I am one. It will also be mostly for single people, because, you know, it's for guys trying to get dates. But, this does not mean that some of the advice won't be for you ladies, it also doesn't mean that I won't want some feedback in the comments in case I'm completely off on something. My ten rules are still a work in progress and I'm open to constructive criticism. And, if nothing else, I imagine that they should be entertaining, and remind you of some of your bad dates.
Anyway, hope you're as excited as I am to start the ten tomorrow, or I hope that you'll at least pretend that you are.
Have a nice day.
2. My wife and I went on a minny vacation.
3. She took me on a date in her home town.
You read right folks, my computer is officially fixed. Our Internet has given up, but our computer is fixed. I don't have any time today to catch up, but I will tomorrow morning, and then I'll be posting messages on your blogs, and being my usual pesty self.
On to today's topic! In my absence, well, really just last night, I came up with a few ideas about what I could blog about. One was about my thoughts on America's public school system, and how it's not as bad as we all think that it is (as a system anyway), but that would take time, and energy, and a thought process, all of which are shut off because it's Presidents' Day.
So, we'll just have to wait to write about that another day (it's in my drafts though, so if any of you got excited it will be coming in the future). My other idea that I liked a lot came to me in the middle of the night, when I thought about the young men in my family, and advice that I dispense so readily about dating, and how all of those great pearls of wisdom are not in one place. Then I thought, why don't I put them all on blog land in ten posts (one post for each tidbit of advice). I don't like to admit it, but I also thought about how that would give me eleven days of blogging ideas if you included the introduction to the idea, and I think we all know how hard it is to come up with material. I felt it was genius.
To begin, let's quickly get something out on the table: I was not a natural at dating. I know this probably comes as a surprise to a lot of you, what with my wordsmithing ability, the speed at which I beat Xbox games, and let's be honest, what girl doesn't want to go out with a Dungeon Master, right? But, even with all of that going for me, the girls really didn't "fall all over me" as it were. I also didn't really understand a few things about dating. I didn't understand the laws of odds, or the opportunities I had to go on inexpensive dates. I didn't get many hours at my job and, therefore, didn't really have the money to date often, or at least I didn't have as much as I thought I needed.
Also, I wasn't much of a planner. In my religion, girls in high school are advised to go on group dates, and some were very strict on the matter. So, not only did I need to find a time when her and I could go, I needed to find when she, my buddy, his date, and I could go. I also found out that the more people who are involved = a bigger possibility that one will flake, and if that one flakes, and there were only two couples, the date was toast. It was a serious issue that I never figured out how to resolve.
After my mission though, I spent some time with a certain cousin in Phoenix. I wanted to date, but was finding little success. He shared a few things with me, and, my blogging community, things took off for me. I suddenly figured out how to date a lot. Things weren't peaches and cream right from the start, but with a little trial and error I came up with some rules for dating that I mixed in with a few rules I had figured out in high school. I can honestly say that without these rules I never would have even found my wife... I'm not even joking.
Now, I must admit that most of my rules will be for the fella's, because, you know, I am one. It will also be mostly for single people, because, you know, it's for guys trying to get dates. But, this does not mean that some of the advice won't be for you ladies, it also doesn't mean that I won't want some feedback in the comments in case I'm completely off on something. My ten rules are still a work in progress and I'm open to constructive criticism. And, if nothing else, I imagine that they should be entertaining, and remind you of some of your bad dates.
Anyway, hope you're as excited as I am to start the ten tomorrow, or I hope that you'll at least pretend that you are.
Have a nice day.
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