Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Rule 8: Don't Go Steady in High School

1.  I got into the playoffs again in NHL 11, and I swept Phoenix in the first. 
2.  I did partner Yoga yesterday for the first time and lifted a football player with my legs.
3.  My wife accidentally spilled water on my lap top, but after it dried out some, it still worked.

Today's post won't be popular, and I understand that.  I know this because I remember me in high school.  I remember buying into the 'liking one person' phenomenon.  I remember looking at my parents and noticing how happy they were just to have each other. I also remember thinking that I was very mature for my age, and was ready to be in a serious relationship.  I remember my dad telling me that having a girlfriend was a bad idea in high school, and just like with the quick date idea, I thought that my dad was an idiot.

It all went down my junior year.  I made the ballroom team, along with the hockey team, and was in the middle of juggling both.  Most of my friends were either on the hockey team or ran with hockey players, so I didn't really have many friends on ballroom to start with, and I mostly kept to myself.  In one of the dances (I think the two step routine), I got paired with the ballroom captain.  She was cute, and there were enough breaks for me to joke around with her and eventually drive her home, and end up holding hands with her on her mom's couch.  It was pretty cool.  What followed can be observed on Bambi, we both got butterflies, and our eyes got large and glassy.  And soon, we became inseparable. 

So inseparable in fact, that my friends remember it as the year that I disappeared.  What can I say?  They were out chasing girls, and I had a girlfriend.  We really weren't up to the same things.  I saw my hockey buddies at practice, but that was about it.  The rest of my time was spent with my girlfriend.

She was a year older, so that summer we broke up.  She went off to college and I started my senior year.  I rarely dated that year, and found no other girlfriend.  I dated the girl my junior year for nine months.  To be honest, it was nine months of making out and arguing.  That's really all we did.  And, the other girls at the high school who were interested in me had noticed us, and never asked if we were still together.  Because we had been inseparable, I assume that people assumed that we were still together, and because I'm an introvert, I didn't talk enough to let them know otherwise.

Now, I do need to say that the girl I dated really is a wonderful person.  She is very sweet, and very kind.  To be honest, I didn't deserve to be with her.  I was kind of a jerk through a lot of the relationship (not as mature as I thought).  The bottom line though, and again, I don't expect this to be a popular opinion, is to date a lot of people in high school, and don't 'go steady.' I know that your mature, more mature than I was.  I know you've thought this through, and it seems like the right idea.  But please, just take it from me, and don't go steady in high school.

Have a nice day.


  1. Paul,
    See I was the opposite of you. I dated. Not just one boy in high school(not that you dated boys..haha). I went on lots of dates with different types of guys, or so I thought they were different, now looking back they were all pretty much the same. I didn't even go to dances with the same boy. I enjoyed high school and always saw my friends mostly miserable because they had "the one true love" or so they thought. While they spent nights arguing and crying over their boyfriends, I was out just living my life and taking it one day at a time. So, this advice is some good advice I believe. Don't steady date, live your life, have fun, and get to know yourself and find out who YOU are. :)

  2. I had a number of boyfriends, but really my heart only belonged to one. (Even though for him I was more like a light switch. On again, off again. Maybe not the best comparison.) Anyway, I think I would have been a lot happier and probably emotionally healthier today if I hadn't fallen so hard for him. And just let myself have fun with lots of guys instead of wanting to tie myself to the one.

  3. I would have to agree with you Paul. I had one on again, off again relationship in high school and it caused me no end of problems. I realised I just wasn't ready, so I eventually broke it off. Probably the most mature thing I'd done at that time. lol...

  4. Amen!!! My two oldest made it through with "going steady," but I am worried about the others...

  5. I think it can be a formative learning experience, even if it just teaches you on what not to do.

  6. @Robyn
    It really would have been so much more fun for me. Though I do notice that people often fall into a rut when it comes to dating the 'same' guy or girl with a different face.

    Yeah, I relaly don't know if anyone can totally avoid the pitfall. I did the same thing: fell hard and fast. I know it wasn't the healthiest, but don't know if I could have stopped myself.

    That's what's so funny about all of it. You FEEL mature enough to be in serious relationship, but the even more mature thing to do is stay out of it. Wasn't puberty the best? :)

    I'd worried about my unborn child. Where will thing be in sixteen years when baby J starts doing the dating thing? I'm afraid to find out.

    I agree, but they are often hard lessons that could be learned by watching your friends. :)