Thursday, March 3, 2011

Rule 7: Figure Out What She Likes

1.  My wife let me order a bunch of D&D stuff.  I have three books and 23 miniatures coming to me in the mail right now... I'm so happy.
2. I got a good parking spot quickly.
3.  I took the Yoga midterm and feel really good about it.

When I was in high school, there was a woman in  my church who thought that I was such a nice young man, and she knew a girl who was just getting back on to the dating scene.  Previously, the girl had dated some pretty big jerks, and the woman in my ward asked if I would take her on a date.  Now, I have mentioned previously that I was not a natural at dating.  I was natural at being a nice guy, but I was only sixteen, and did not know how to plan well.  I can't remember what we did first, but I decided to take her to a Thai restaurant that I liked a lot afterward.  Note:  That I liked a lot.  It was a little hole in the wall back then, on an out of the way street in Provo.  We probably drove around for twenty minutes looking for this place, until I gave up and asked if she liked Mexican food.  She said that she did, but that she liked fast food Mexican (Taco Bell was her example).  I'm ashamed to say that Taco Bell was 'below my dignity' and I took us a to a Mexican food place that I had never been to before.  It was pretty good, but not great.  After we ate, I asked if she liked it.  She said that it was okay, but that she liked Taco Bell better...

When my sister was just out of high school, there was a guy who took her to a movie.  They had been on a few dates before, and my sister thought he was pretty cool.  He took her to Knocked Up.  I've never seen it.  Some of my buddies said that it was funny, but that there was a lot of swearing, a lot of nudity, a lot of sex jokes:  a lot of stuff that offends my sister.  She walked out of the movie, and the guy didn't come looking for her for half an hour.  When he did finally come, she asked for him to take her home.  She never went out with him again.

Guys, I should hope by now that you can see what's wrong with both of these stories.  At the base of both, is selfishness, which is against the gentleman's code anyway, but just as evil as selfishness, is the inability to do one's homework, and to think of the girl he's taking out.

The first thing to do to avoid this is to plan before you go.  I know that I've already stressed this, but let me give you some specifics.  Eat at the restaurant before you go to it.  Know a few different things on the menu, so that when she asks what's good, you know a few things that might spark her interest (the girl I went with asked what was good at the Mexican place.  I had no clue).  Know how to get to that restaurant, clear exact directions that make it so that you can drive to it confidently.  See the movie before taking the girl to it (breaking this rule is the only possible saving grace for the guy mentioned, in my mind. He already knew that stuff offended my sister).  And even if it's not a movie or a restaurant, always do your homework on any activity.  Does this band cuss every three seconds even though they don't in their songs?  Is this ice rink in a sketch part of town?  etc. etc.

The second thing is to listen to your date and figure out where she stands on stuff.  I should have listened to the girl and gone to Taco Bell.  It was what she wanted, and I was too selfish to figure that out.  The guy knew that stuff offended my sister, he should have walked out too.

So, to reiterate:  Plan to impress, not just a list of things to do, but a way to get to them and make them as enjoyable as possible once you get there.  And, listen to the girl.  She has opinions and stuff that you need to know to help her have fun.

Have a nice day.


  1. You had me at the title because that is actually a fine way to live your entire life with a woman right there.

  2. Your wife let you :). I know Paul, I know.

    "She liked Taco Bell". That's funny. Good advice, once again.

  3. @dbs
    SO true.

    Yeah, she needs to keep me in check, or I'd bankrupt us. Not really, but I know I'd spend more than I should.

    Isn't it funny? I thought she was joking...