Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Rule 5: A Few Things to Consider During Date Construction

1.  Our teacher gave us all the answers for the Yoga test.
2.  My mom made Turkey Poppy Seed Casserole.
3.  My car worked again.  (I know it's been a constant, but I'm still grateful for it)

So, today's post is probably a little more of a personal preference of mine than it is a hard, fast rule, but there's logic behind it that I think makes it valid enough to put on my list, and for guys to think about during date construction.

First, the logic.  What should a first date be?  I think it should be fun; not all dates need to be fun.  Before my wife and I were married we went to a funeral of a friend of mine who had killed himself.  It wasn't fun, but I'd still consider it a date.  I wouldn't take a girl to a funeral on a first date if I were you ;).  The date should give the two of you an opportunity to get to know each other better.  That is what dating is for anyway.  But, you need to consider the fact that you two don't know each other very well, so two hours of constant conversation might be a little awkward.  Again, it's possible that you only asked her out because she had cool earrings on...

In considering these things, I think I have the best and worst possible first dates.  Let's do worst first.  In my opinion, "dinner and a movie" should be left for later dating.  Let's look at it.  Dinner:  Let's put the two of you across from each other for an hour, with no one else there and hope you don't run out of conversation pieces before you get some food in front of you so that you can stuff your faces every time there's a laps in conversation.  I would advise not going to dinner on the first unless you are doubling and there are more people to fill the void.  A movie is not so much awkward as it is pointless.  "I want to get to know you better, so let's stare at a screen, in a place where it is bad etiquette to talk at all.  If I want to get to know you better, I'll creepily look over at you, until you notice and then I'll whip my head back toward the screen."  I just don't think it's the best first date...

I'll tell you what is the best first date though:  ice skating.  I can hear you over the Internet, scoughing at my idea.  I know that not everyone likes ice skating, and there is a possibility that she'll  bruise her tail bone (as might you), but it really is the best first date option.  First, does it give you a chance to talk to each other in a non-threatening space?  Yes.  Does it also allow for pauses in conversation without it being awkward?  Why yes, because one of you can just skate off.  Does it work if you, as the guy, suck at the activity?  Yes.  If you suck, you're like most of the world and both of you can just slide around together.  If you're good at it, you can spray here, impress her with your speed, and show off with what tricks you have.  Does it work if she sucks at it?  Yes.  Most people do suck at it, or if she's good, she can impress you.  Does it take an appropriate amount of time?  Yes.  One or two hours of skating and her ankles will be sufficiently sore, and she'll have had fun.  I submit that ice skating is the best first date, possibly preceded by dinner if you are doubling.  I know it works.  It was my wife's and my first date.

Have a nice day.


  1. "I'll creepily look over at you, until you notice and then I'll whip my head back toward the screen."

    Amazing. As his head turns back towards the screen he mutter "You look mighty purdy..."

    I agree though, first date at the movies is just weird. After a movie, I always feel groggy, and usually my breath smells of dehydration and salty butter. Definitely NOT a recipe for all out sexiness.

  2. When my wife & I had our first date, it was a lunch date after work. We ate pizza & just walked around the city & talked until I put her in a taxi. Nothing too special, but I was only seventeen at the time. Since she's just a little younger than I am, she wasn't expecting much either.

    One of the best early dates we had, though, was a trip to an amusement park. The rides made me want to throw up, but it was fun.

  3. Dinner and a movie, I agree, it's so unimaginative. Doing something fun and interactive for those first awkward silence moments; icebreaker ;)

    Vinny, there you go blaming a ride for wanting to throw up, again.

  4. Ride, beverages coonsumed, tomato, tomAHto.

  5. @Kev
    The mighty purdy comment totally makes that story. And it's true, very little sexiness after a movie.

    Note that you two at least kind of knew each other. I'm talking about a first date where you barely know each other at all. The amusement park idea does sound fun though.

    Icebreaker for sure. And vinny does seem to mix up words a lot. :)

  6. Our first date was Dave and Busters where I kicked his butt at the basketball game they had...then he took me to the drive in where we had pizza in the car and watched the movie but ended up chatting more than watching the show (which is totally ok at the drive in). :) I loved it.

    One of my favorite dates is putt putt golf though :)

  7. Yeah, the big thing is to make sure that talking is an option. I still wouldn't recommend the drive in if you didn't know the girl at all. That could lead to some awkward pauses.