The Glucose Drink

1.  That my wife carries Baby J and not me.
2.  I have awesome, caring friends who listen to me whine.
3.  I have a class that is challenging me to stop whining.  (It's a 21 day in a row thing, I'll probably blog about it tomorrow or something... let's just say that if I don't stop playing NHL 11 I may never get past day one).

So, the Glucose drink.  For all of you parents this is old news, but to us knew daddies, did you know that women sometimes get Diabetes during pregnancy? It's called Gestational Diabetes.  Yeah, news to me too.  We're pretty sure my wife doesn't have it (what with her having no symptoms and all), but the doctors want to make doubly sure (or just like to torture pregnant women... both are understandable).  I'm totally kidding, torturing pregnant women is not what I'm about, chill out.

This, dear friends, is how they test for it (my mom said they didn't do it when she was pregnant):  First, you can't eat sugar that day... like at all.  They say ANYTHING with sugar in it.  I actually think we may have broken this rule for breakfast, but my wife was dead set on egg sandwich.  So, I fried up an egg and put it on white bread toast (which I'm pretty sure has high levels of sugar, but whatev).  Usually she has oatmeal, but it had sugar, so we had to go a different route this morning.  We also couldn't give her a banana, because fruit has sugar.  I'm not even joking.

So, she has to carry on all day while teaching high school students math without any kind of snack, because all of our snacks consist of candy or fruit... Chips!!! I'm a moron, we had chips... I hope my wife doesn't read this, she could have had a snack.  Oh well.  Regardless, she will be snackless.  For lunch, a frozen burrito.  She must eat her burrito in the first ten minutes of her lunch period (the end of the semester approaches, so she'll probably be eating it with a million kids who want to change their grades).  Then, once burritos are consumed, she must eat NOTHING for an hour.  The nurse was VERY clear on this point.  SO clear that I feel I need to use CAPS to emphasize her CLARITY.  Okay, I'll stop.

After this hour of nothing, preceded by a day of no sugar remember, she needs to drink a drink.  Not just any drink though, it's a pink glucose drink that is supposed to be fruit punch flavor.  Basically, it's a little bottle of high fructose corn syrup.  She can't take her time either, she needs to pound this thing in ten minutes.  Then, when her sensitive tummy has dealt with said drink for an hour EXACTLY (I know I said I was done, but she emphasized this too), she has to go in to be tested.  They said that if they are even a few minutes off, the test is ruined and she must do this again.

Can I just reemphasize the first thing I'm thankful for today? 
1.  That my wife carries Baby J and not me.

Have a nice day.