Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Rule 1: There is Someone Looking for You

1. I figured out that the next installment of D&D will be this Saturday.
2. I tasted my first Nehi.
3. When we came to my parents' house for the first time after our vacation, my sister's dog went nuts because she was so excited to see us.

Here it is, the first installment of dating tips from Paul.  Well, this one isn't so much a tip, as an observation.  But first, we need to have a statistics lesson.  WAIT!  Don't leave, it will be quick, I promise.

Whenever things in nature are measured (including humans), the measurements usually make a bell curve that looks like this:

There it is folks, in all its glory.   To put it in easy to understand terms, let's say we took all the men in America and lined them up from shortest to tallest.  Chances are, we'd get lots of guys around 5'10", and very few around 3' or 8'.  Now look at the curve above.  Do you see how the measurements would eventually make this curve, with guys who are between 5'9" and 5'11" making the blue part, and guys 3' or 8' making the orange parts?  Okay, you now understand the basics of the normal curve and know enough to read the rest of my post.

What people are, and what they want in a spouse also follow the normal curve.  Meaning that if you are mostly normal in most things, there's a better chance that you'll find someone who will want to marry you... unless you are normal in every way, in which case, your overall normalness will make you abnormal, and you'll have a hard time finding a spouse, because you are boring... there, I said it. 

Let's take me for example (because I've found that people get offended when I use them as examples for the normal curve).  I am a dork.  The fact that I'm a DM makes me abnormal.  The fact that I want to be a writer makes me abnormal.  The fact that I am LDS, chew my fingernails, cry when I read certain Dr. Seuss stories, play video games that have no multi-player options, sleep a lot, blog, and love to critique movies, makes me abnormal.  This is why my mom says that I march to my own drummer, and my best man said that I dated a lot of girls, but none of them were really right for me, at my wedding.  I AM WEIRD.  Because I am weird, there were few girls who would have been happy being married to me.  I know this.  I'm cool with it.

Now, some of you may be saying to yourself, "Self, you're screwed.  Paul just said that you are on one of the outlying parts of the normal curve, which means few people will be happy marrying you."  Here's the deal guy (or girl, this post goes for you too), there is someone looking for you. I'm super weird, and I still found someone who adores me.  And truth be told, my wife doesn't hit dead center on the normal curve on many attributes either, but guess what?  I was looking for what my wife is.  I didn't want someone super normal, I knew many of those normal people wouldn't be right for me.  The fact that my wife was on the orange part of the curve on so many things, made me love her.

So, here's the big advice for today:  The normal curve exists.  There's a good chance that you are an outlier in some way.  That's good though, because there is someone looking for an outlier like you.  So don't get discouraged, it just might take you a little more time than your cousin who is 5'11" and has no idea what Wolverine's actual powers are.  There are more girls looking for him than are looking for you, but some are still looking for someone just like you, so keep your head up.

Have a nice day.


  1. Cool.
    Hubby and I were made for each other.
    We are both WEIRD, in totally different ways.
    But we are both the SAME.

  2. Loved it! Everyone says that my wife and I are made for each other. I think it is because we both put up with the random bits of each other and love them. I for one DO know Wolverines true power and though Mel shakes her head and calls me a nerd, she loves me with more passion and power than any woman that has dated me and said it before.

    I will even leave you my three for the day:
    1. I got 7 solid hours of sleep after rubbing my wifes legs and back to help her relax enough to sleep.
    2. I woke up feeling energized and ready for the day.
    3. I read your blog and it has already given me a great start to the day.

  3. haha - I think that's why me and my boyfriend have been together so long. Most guys were just not nerdy enough for my liking. Also, when they found out all of my little strangenesses (is that a word?), they realized, "hey - this girl is a little too out there for me." haha. I am glad they felt that way because I would have stopped looking for boyfriend - who is awesome!

  4. Haha-Too bad that I'm far on the right side by being a female who is 5'11. :)

  5. I'm sitting here trying to figure out where I would fit. I know I'm not normal, but how not normal am I? (I'm starting to feel like I fell into a philospohy class.)

  6. Thank gawd my better half did not look at a graph like that, if he did, he would have bypassed me eons ago!

  7. You just provided the proof for what I had already suspected. My wife & I are abnormal.

    In a good way! A way that works.

    PS: You've been tagged.

  8. Paul, who wants to be average?
    Weird is good, geeks are great and how many wives can say my husband is a dungeon master?

    Awesome: when a spouse tells you: you look like you need some game time. :)

    Like how you used statistics for this and the post title.

  9. @Sprite
    That's how my wife and I are. Both weird, but in a good way.

    That's exactly what I'm talking about: Accepting your spouse for their weirdness and loving them for it. Oh, and thanks for leaving your three. Glad I could be a part of it.

    We'll say it's a word. That's how I was. I dated a lot, but my strangeness eventually became apparent and they usually were less happy. I'm really happy I found someone that I can be myself with.

    Yeah, but never fear. You're super cool, and will find someone. Patience is all you'll need. ;)

    Each attribute has its own curve. I imagine your normalish on some, and more abnormal on others.

    It's not like that. Not being 'normal' does not mean you're not awesome. It just means you're not the same as everyone else. I imagine your husband didn't want normal, or he wouldn't have chosen you.

    That's a good way to say it, weird in a way that works. And thanks for tagging me. I really will get right on it once I'm done pontificating about dating.

    Average is LAME. And I think my wife secretly likes that I'm a DM. Thanks for the compliment. I'm a stats tutor, so I've been looking at this stuff for a while. :)