Friday, February 25, 2011

Rule 3: Let's Work on Your Pick Up Line, Continued, or, What to Do Once You Have that Number

1. I did a group presentation in one of my classes and got 140/150.
2. My wife and I watched the episode of The Office where Pam has her baby while we cuddled on the couch and hugged at times that reminded us of us.
3. Because I've been so focused on said presentation, I forgot to do another assignment for another class, but I can still email it to him today. *Sighs with relief*

"Hey!  Do you like apples?"
"Well I got her numbe'.  How do you like dem apples?"
-Good Will Hunting

In case you didn't read the comments from yesterday, my good friend Ashley brought up a good point:  If you do have time to get to know them before asking for digits, do so.  You'll come off as mildly less creepy.  If you: A. Don't have time to have a conversation before she walks out of your life for good, or B.  You don't have the ability to strike up a conversation with a stranger without it being awkward, just use the line I gave you.

So now you've got her number.  Feels good right? It waits in your phone or pocket for just the right moment.  Let me tell you, the moment to use it is the day you get it.  NOT to ask her on that date.  Guys, God has given us a great tool, so that we might seem less creepy, that tool is texting.  Little known fact among guys:  Lots of girls won't answer a call from a number they don't know.  You're not going to call them for a couple of days, and as cool as you might think you are, you probably didn't make a solid enough impression during that minute when you got her number for her to remember you (assuming she answers the phone at all).  So, if you got her cell, and you don't know each other from school or something, shoot her a text that goes like this, "Hey (her name), this is (your first and last name).  I just wanted to send you a text so that you would know that this number is mine when I call you.  Thanks."  Keep it short, sweet, and to the point.  Again, the goal here is not to sound creepy.  Try and resist the urge to do the flirext (where you flirt in text, dbs, this one's for you).  No matter how sweet you may think it sounds to tell her that she looked nice that day, it will only read as creepy, and she'll regret giving you that number.

Before you give her a call, let's get one thing straight:  She has a life.  She has friends, and family, and work, and school, and a dog named Tink (who you will come to love, but who has a name that you will laugh at every time you take her out to make water, because you will think of the two missing letters in her name). Because she is busy, let's get a plan together.  First off, what day and time?  I recommend having two ready, so that she doesn't have to feel like a jerk when she can't do it on the one day you give her.  You do need to deliver it right though.  Do not have the convo go like this:

"Hey (her name), I was wondering if you might be able to go on the date this Friday at seven."
"I'm so sorry, I'm busy that night."
"Oh... Well, would Saturday at six work?"

Do you see how this makes it sound like you have no life what-so-ever and you're just giving days and times because you have every night free from now 'til Christmas?  Try an approach more like this:

"Hey (her name), I was looking at my calendar, and I can do the date this Thursday at seven, or Saturday at six.  Do either of those times work for you?"

Do you see how this sounds a little more like you have a life.  This does two things, it doubles your chances of having her say yes (because she has double the options), and subconsciously, it let's her know that you are a guy with a life, and that she is awesome enough for you to make time for her.  I guess that's more like three things.  Oh, well.

So, you have the day and time picked out.  Please, have things figured out before you call her.  Let her know appropriate clothing for what you're doing (if you're going to a nice dinner and she shows up in jeans, she's gonna feel dumb, and you'd better enjoy this one hour you have to be in her life, because you will not get another).  Also, let her know about how long you'll be out.  Be realistic on time, and remember that a first date need not be more than an hour or two.  She may be telling her friend that she can hang out if her date doesn't go all night.  Let her know so she can plan the rest of her day by giving her an approximation on how long the date should last.  Also, if you decide that plans are going to change, call her immediately.  She needs to know as soon as possible so she can plan, or tell you that she can't do it if you're going to make those changes.  If you don't, she'll feel like a jerk, and won't want to see you again.  When I first called my wife, I told her that I wanted to go ice skating and that the wholde date would take about an hour and a half (with drive time and all).  Then, a couple of days later, my work gave me a pretty good gift card to P.F. Cheng's, and I thought dinner before skating might be nice.  So, what did I do?  I gave her a call, let her know that I know we had planned on an hour and a half, but that I thought dinner might be nice too, and did she have time to tack on another hour for dinner.  Guys, when people ask my wife what most impressed her about me, this story is always one of the first she tells.  Let her in on your plan.

Also, do not pick her up and then turn to her and say, "Hey, so what do you wanna do?"  Contrary to what you might think, she might not have been thinking about this date for the whole week like you should have.  If you want some advice on what she wants to do, either do some recon while you're talking to her on the first meeting, so you have an idea of what she likes, or give her two or three options when you pick her up.  Do not force your creative responsibility on to her.  After a few dates with her, go ahead and be impulsive.  Impulsivity is fun sometimes... just not on first dates.

One of the leaders in my church gave some good advice that I think wraps up what I'm trying to say here pretty well.  He said that when you ask a girl on a date, there are three P's that make it an actual date.  Paired off, Planned out, and Paid for.  If you are missing any of these three, it is not a date.  So date.  Don't do something else.

Have a nice day guys.


  1. Great advice. Especially the having a plan part. I want the guy to be a guy and plan it out for me. Plus, it's too hard to come up with something good right off the top of your head when you're suddenly asked, "So, whatta you wanna to do?" It'll be deer in the headlights every time. (At least if it's me!)

    And I love love love that part of Good Will Hunting! (Can you tell I really like it? lol)

  2. I am sending my 20 year-old son a link to your blog. He needs to read this!!!

  3. @OT
    Thanks guy. I do what I can.

    Thanks for backing me up. It's good to hear it from a woman, instead of just some guy.

    And that part of GWH is awesome.

    Do it. I need all the readers I can get. :)

  4. Love the advice! I always feel a bit awkward when asked 'What I want to do' the first time I go out with someone. It's great to be with a 'man with a plan'. It's thoughtful and makes me feel a bit like a princess :)

  5. Thanks. This advice is actually what the book I'm editing now is about. It's specifically directed at LDS guys, but I really think the advice is universal.