Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Ambiguos Facebook Status Updates

1.       My wife washed the towels.  Not that we don’t usually, I just love freshly washed towels.
2.       It’s my brother-in-law’s birthday, so we’re going to Tucano’s and seeing the new X-men movie.
3.       I finished the writing part of my book and have already found a few willing editors.

Let me just start by saying that if you are one of my Facebook friends and you do what I explain today, please don’t be offended.  I don’t mean to be mean, I just had to get it off my chest.
I don’t like Facebook status updates that leave no real clue as to what the person is talking about.  A good example is when a whole status post reads, “Awesome.”  What is that?  What’s awesome?  Did you just see someone do something stupid and all you can think is ‘awesome’ or did you just find out that you were given a large inheritance and we’d all better start being ridiculously nice to you?  Your status update leaves us no clue.
Then, even worse than ‘Awesome,’ is ‘Best day ever,’ or ‘This is wonderful.’  Again, what’s wonderful?  Why is this the best day ever?  Then, we, as your true blue facebook friends must ask you what’s wonderful or why it’s been such a good day.  Questions that seldom get answered, and even when they do we are left thinking, “Huh, that’s nice.  They could have just written, ‘My brother got married, this is the best day ever.’  Would it really have taken that much longer?”  To be honest, I seldom ask what these are about anymore.  I figure that if there really is something interesting going on, I’ll eventually hear about it.  I imagine it makes me a bad facebook friend, but I just don’t have the patience anymore.
But even more annoying than those is “Today sucks,” Or “FML.”  These are like ticking time bombs.  I’m afraid that the person who wrote this is someone I barely know and they are going to answer me with something like, “My husband just walked out after he found out I lost my job and our fifth child is on the way, taking his Xbox with him, not because he meant to, but because non-stop playing has fused it to his hand.”  What do you say to that?  “I’m sorry.  You’re right, your day does suck.”  But even more obnoxious than an answer is the “It’s personal.”  Then why did you post ANYTHING about it on facebook?  Do you really think this is a ‘personal stuff only’ site?  Guess what, it’s not.  Everyone you’ve even met will soon know that your day sucks and because we give a damn about your well being/we’re nosey bastards, we are ALL going to ask what’s up in one way or another.  Don’t post it if you don’t want us asking.  If this is your venting place and you want no feedback on what you write, keep a journal instead.
Anyway, that’s just been on my mind lately.  Have a nice day.


  1. haha I'm totally just laughing. those statuses drive me insane! there is some sort of unwritten status etiquette that exists in my mind. i'm sure i do some stupid status updates here and there but i CAN say that i've never included "FML"...

  2. lol to the Xbox comment. Those were driving me crazy too, so I left FB.

    BTW, Blogger is installing something new and may give everyone probs.

  3. You're so right! If people want to be cryptic, at least they could be creative about it. I don't comment on such statuses either, I figure someone else will do it for me anyway and if I really bother I can just check it out later.

  4. @OT
    Somehow I knew you would. :)

    I don't remember you being one to have any of the stupid ones. I'm sure we're all a little guilty from time to time though.

    If I wasn't keeping up with so many of my old friends on it, I'd probably quit too. And thanks for the heads up on the Blogger changes. Ugh, why Blogger? WHY!!!!!

    Oh, if they'd be creative I'd probably be interested, but "Awesome." Come on.

  5. Well said dude, totally in agreement. To me, the person is just phishing for comments, which has the opposite effect on me and makes me remove the status update from my news feed. The FML and constant negative status updates cause me to delete the person as a Facebook friend all together.

  6. Wow, you're tough man. I usually just ignore them.