Tuesday, September 24, 2013

I'm a Heartless Murderer

I've been approached by a couple of people (my mom and sister) who said they want me to start blogging again.  What about you ask?  My daily/weekly life.  I told them it was boring, but they said that's what they wanted to read... so here it goes.

When I was on my two year religious sabbatical I gained a firm belief in God and his love for His creations.  Even down to centipedes  that we found in our shower who I took outside in a cup to set free, and spiders, to which, if they didn't crawl on me, I also released into the wild.  I'm still a pretty firm believer in that.  I believe life, all life, is precious, and I want to defend it... except for flies.

I went out into the mud room to weigh myself (trying to lose weight so I don't hurt my back again) and found - I would guess - 50 flies on the window of the door going outside.  I immediately turned around, closed the door found the fly swatter (a tool that was made for literally one purpose), went back out and began hacking away like a blind-folded kid swings at a pinata.  When they were all gone from the window (who knows how many I actually hit) I turned to the ceiling, where I assume several went for refuge, then I was more like a little-leaguer swinging at balls well above the strike zone.  Back to the window, back to the ceiling, window, ceiling, window, ceiling, until none flew around me anymore.  Up to this point I'd only been working with the light coming in through the window, so I turned on the incandescent and found several more that I missed, "swing away, Paul!  Swing away!".  I didn't count, but the floor was littered with flies.

Somewhere in the frenzy, and especially after I'd seen my handiwork, I thought, "Why don't I care about flies?"  I care about spiders, centipedes, humans, and even small dogs to a degree.  Why don't I care about flies?  They help in keeping our planet from filling up with waste, they have very short lives, and I really don't think they cause as much disease as we all think they do.  And still, I killed dozens of them today in the mud room, basically a mass-murder, and I feel nothing.  Let's just say that if God cares a great deal about flies' lives, I'm pretty much screwed, but I'm pretty sure all of you are too, so I'll have company.

See you two, boring.

8 comments:

  1. You are an epic writer. Please blog more.

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    1. Haha, thanks. And I'll see what I end up doing. My mom and sister will probably string me up by my thumbs if I don't. They've been looking for an excuse, they miss the screaming.

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  2. Glad to be in your company again.

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  3. Like you, I care nothing for flies and feel little remorse in killing them. Same goes for mosquitoes, sand flies, ants, wasps, centipedes...

    I'm in trouble, aren't I?

    Glad they got you to come back.

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    1. Yep, you're pretty much toast. And I'm happy you're glad. I'm glad.

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  4. I would like to think that reincarnation exists and that maybe there is something better than compound eyes.

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    1. Or maybe that big dung heap in the sky. :D

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