$1 a Day is Totally Worth it

1. I was able to get some Claritin D yesterday.
2. I played golf this morning.  Like, third or forth time in my life...
3. We can buy Mt. Dew that is made with actually sugar.

My allergies were horrible again a couple of days ago.  Here in Orem there's a celebration we have called Summer Fest.  It's a carnival, a parade, and fireworks.  We went with my mom to the fireworks and happened to sit right near three or four big pine trees.  I'm almost sure I'm allergic to pollinating pines now.  I could not stop sneezing.  After they were over my wife and I went to Target to get me some allergy pills.  We couldn't get Claritin D because the pharmacy was closed, so I settled for some Benadryl with the decision to go back the next morning.

Friends, I looked like a zombie the next morning.  My eyes were blood shot, and it looked like I'd been in a fight the day before.  My mouth gaped open as I tried to breathe.  It was horrible, and I needed drugs.  I went back to Target, but forgot Kleenex, so my first order of business when I got there was to grab a box, rip it open, and start using it before purchasing it.  They usually don't care if you do this, but I would have done it even if they did, I simply couldn't go without.

After I had Kleenex in hand, I went to where you get the little paper that you take the pharmacy that says you want the drugs (I guess because you can't convey that to them in words...).  So, I stagger up to the counter and hand the woman the slip of paper.  It is for the generic version of Claritin D.  She walks on back, looks on a shelf and then leans out saying, "I'm sorry, we're out of that." She's about to walk back to me, when I gasp, "Then get me some Claritin D."  I kid you not, I looked like a zombie, why she didn't just grab the Claritin is beyond me.  She then asks if I want the five pack of the fifteen.  People, I am squinting through two puffy eyes and holding a Kleenex under them to catch the tears.  Why did she think I would get better in five days?  So I told her the fifteen and she heads on back.

I hand her the Kleenex and ask her to "Ring this up to.  I had an emergency."  She rings up both and it comes to twenty something dollars.  As I walk out of the store I notice that I paid eighteen dollars for fifteen days worth of Claritin D.  At first I was a little annoyed, but then I realized why it was so much.  My allergies had me by the balls.  I was willing to pay way more than a dollar a day to support my delusion that they might loosen up if I fed them something.  To be honest, I don't know why they don't charge more.  My only thought is that then they'd have another crazed group of people trying to break into pharmacies to try and get their Claritin fix.  I know I would have that morning anyway.  I would have been violent.

But anyway, I got my Claritin and feel better enough to think eighteen dollars was worth it.  My allergies have more or less let go of my testicles now, and I can function.  I'll just leave you with that little image.  Have a nice day.

It's Funny How One Night Can Seem Like Just Enough and Hardly Enough All at Once

1.  My wife didn't have the baby without me (though she didn't have the baby yet at all).
2.  The Equate Claritin hiding in our cupboard was somewhat helpful against my allergies.
3.  The zombies haven't taken over yet.  One more day to party.

It's a dew covered morning out at Five Mile Pass.  About an hour ago a young member of an LDS congregation bellowed as the leader explained that it was time to get in the truck and go out on their outing.  The boy protested, but his protests fell on deaf ears, either because they didn't care or his Banshee cry blew out there ear drums.  All  has been still, but oh, look there.  The sun is just peeking over the horizon.  It's warming rays kiss the dust and the cave men's dwelling.  We may just get lucky enough to see... yes.  One caveman unzips the dwelling and steps into the light.  Notice the squinting eyes, the hunched back, and the protruding belly.  Yes, this is a Paulus Needsmoresleepus.  You'll note the hair on his face, the sticks in his hair.  Clearly related to humans, but severally under evolved.

Yeah, camping was a blast.  By the end we all smelled greatly of burning cedar and something else that would be difficult to define and none of us would probably want to.  We did sleep next to a large group of boys and their fathers, one of which could not seem to stop crying, which was super fun at like four in the morning.  I did feel a little bad for them when I noticed the gallon jugs of Tropicana on their folding tables, slowing soaking in the heat of our biscuits and gravy and hash browns that the wind was carrying perfectly over to them, but for the most part I just wished their leader would have let the poor boy sleep.

As I figured, it was short lived (one night) but lots of fun and just enough time to mostly catch up with each other, and reminisce about stuff we did together, or other good and horrible camp outs we'd been on.  All in all it was a success and a memory that I'll cherish for a long while.

In other news, I'm taking the copy of my book my dad edited today and I'll be compiling to start sending out to my other editors.  I promised one I'd email it before tomorrow, so I'll have a lot of work to do today.  I should be able to do it though.  It's really exciting seeing it all come together.

And, as I said in what I'm grateful for, my wife hasn't yet had the baby.  The 'due date' is only eight days away though, so it's getting close.  I'm really excited.  Which is the most obvious thing to say ever.  And on that happy note, I hope you have a good day.

The Quasi Annual Hoo-Rah

1.  I have a wife who let's me hang out with my friends.
2.  I have lots of friends and family who want to help me edit my book.
3.  The sun is shining here in Utah, and the sky is blue.

I am about to embark on an adventure.  Well, not so much an adventure as a night spent with my high school buddies, cooking outside, talking around a fire, and sleeping in the same dwelling, but in separate beds...  I'm talking about The Quasi-Annual Friends' Camping Trip!  The reason I say quasi is that we've only done it one other year and while I REALLY want it to happen every year, I'm not getting my hopes too high.

Last year was awesome.  We went to Fish Lake and camped for a few days.  Shot some skeet, played a little D&D, cooked outside, and just caught up on everything.  Basically, we did a bunch of manly stuff and felt great.  My buddy got us some "No Wifies Allowed" t-shirts and away we went.

This year is going to be a little more small scale because my wife is having a baby and I didn't want to be gone too long in case she goes in to labor.  My friends have been really cool about it, but shortening the trip for me was probably not something they intended to do.  Anyway, we're going out to Five Mile Pass (I've never camped there), but we hope to have a little cell coverage in case my wife has a surprise labor (which I doubt) and it's close to home since we'll only be gone an evening.  Either way, it'll still be a blast and we'll still catch up just like we want to.  By the end of the trip we'll probably miss our wives again, but the fun will be too undeniable to not do it again next year (I hope).

I'd better finish up because I still have mushrooms and onions to cut up (to fry up with the steaks, because my buddy is awesome enough to bring his camp chef), and I still have to get a few other things together.  But uh, here's to hoping your weekend will be as awesome as mine will.

Have a nice day.

James McAvoy

1.  My parents taught me how to work.
2.  We have enough money to live comfortably.
3.  I woke up this morning.  I know not everyone has that luxury.

James McAvoy.  Is the name familiar?  I'm sure to some of you it is, and you're big fans and this post will leave you wondering if my wife ever lets me out.  Well, for the rest of you, James McAvoy is Charles Xavier in X-Men First Class, which I saw last night.  I really liked it, but as soon as I saw James, I was just a little annoyed. I knew I had seen him in another movie, but could not figure out which one.  Even you McAvoy fans can relate to this right?  When you see someone in a movie and you can't fully enjoy it because you know you've seen them in something else, but can't quiet put your finger on it.  Well that's where I was watching the new X-Men movie, which, in my opinion, is the best X-Men movie yet (not counting Wolverine Origins).

I expressed my concern to my wife, my sister in law, and her husband after the movie ended.  I thought hard and all I could think was that he'd been in Becoming Jane, or some other movie about that set of sisters.  Which, by the way, James is in Becoming Jane.  I just checked.  But after such a bad ass performance in X-Men, I could hardly believe that I didn't know him from something cooler.  I apologize to all of you Jane fans, but that movie was boring.  I love most cinema, but I honestly almost took a nap.  Just like her books, about three fourths of the way through I started asking myself, "Who cares?"

Sorry, back on topic.  So, I continued to think about what I'd seen him in.  I pictured him yelling, which I'm quiet sure he never did in Becoming Jane.  To say the least I was bugged all night.  Even after I beat a boss that had sent me playing other games in frustration before, I still could not get my mind off of where I'd seen James's grimacing face.  Then, around four in the morning, it suddenly hit me.  He's Tumnus in The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.  I can't fully describe the peace that came over me when I figured it out.  I even woke up my wife, who humored me a little before going back to sleep.  I'll have to watch X-Men again so that I can fully enjoy it without the real world identity of James looming over my head.

This is me, hoping that all of you don't have this happen to you for a good long while.  Have a nice day.

Ambiguos Facebook Status Updates

1.       My wife washed the towels.  Not that we don’t usually, I just love freshly washed towels.

2.       It’s my brother-in-law’s birthday, so we’re going to Tucano’s and seeing the new X-men movie.

3.       I finished the writing part of my book and have already found a few willing editors.

Let me just start by saying that if you are one of my Facebook friends and you do what I explain today, please don’t be offended.  I don’t mean to be mean, I just had to get it off my chest.

I don’t like Facebook status updates that leave no real clue as to what the person is talking about.  A good example is when a whole status post reads, “Awesome.”  What is that?  What’s awesome?  Did you just see someone do something stupid and all you can think is ‘awesome’ or did you just find out that you were given a large inheritance and we’d all better start being ridiculously nice to you?  Your status update leaves us no clue.

Then, even worse than ‘Awesome,’ is ‘Best day ever,’ or ‘This is wonderful.’  Again, what’s wonderful?  Why is this the best day ever?  Then, we, as your true blue facebook friends must ask you what’s wonderful or why it’s been such a good day.  Questions that seldom get answered, and even when they do we are left thinking, “Huh, that’s nice.  They could have just written, ‘My brother got married, this is the best day ever.’  Would it really have taken that much longer?”  To be honest, I seldom ask what these are about anymore.  I figure that if there really is something interesting going on, I’ll eventually hear about it.  I imagine it makes me a bad facebook friend, but I just don’t have the patience anymore.

But even more annoying than those is “Today sucks,” Or “FML.”  These are like ticking time bombs.  I’m afraid that the person who wrote this is someone I barely know and they are going to answer me with something like, “My husband just walked out after he found out I lost my job and our fifth child is on the way, taking his Xbox with him, not because he meant to, but because non-stop playing has fused it to his hand.”  What do you say to that?  “I’m sorry.  You’re right, your day does suck.”  But even more obnoxious than an answer is the “It’s personal.”  Then why did you post ANYTHING about it on facebook?  Do you really think this is a ‘personal stuff only’ site?  Guess what, it’s not.  Everyone you’ve even met will soon know that your day sucks and because we give a damn about your well being/we’re nosey bastards, we are ALL going to ask what’s up in one way or another.  Don’t post it if you don’t want us asking.  If this is your venting place and you want no feedback on what you write, keep a journal instead.

Anyway, that’s just been on my mind lately.  Have a nice day.

We're Better Together

1. My boss let me have the day off yesterday.
2. Someone invented Kleenex.  I honestly can't tell you how many handkerchiefs I would have needed the past few days if they hadn't.
3. Modern Medicine.  That's pretty much all inclusive.  There are so many things that would have killed us fifty years ago that simply will not kill us now.  Yay for life.

So, as some of you may have noticed, I took yesterday off.  I talked to my boss (me) and my other boss (my wife), and told them it was my second anniversary and how my wife wanted to spend the day with me.  The two of them talked it over and said that I could.  Suckers.

Yep, it was our second anniversary yesterday, which made me think a bunch of stuff.  First off: Two years.  The woman has put up with me for two years.  I've written about this before, so I won't go into detail, but two years is one long ass time to deal with me.  Talk about moxy (from Night at the Museum II), talk about muchness (Alice in Wonderland).  If for no other reason than she can put up with me (and it's not), my wife is amazing.

The day started with, let's say, some difficulties.  Namely, allergies.  I took an allergy pill, but even with the pill, I still thought that I would get dehydrated from blowing my nose, and that my eyes would eventually be swept away by the rivers they were obviously holding back.  I looked like every bit of water in my body was piling up and spilling out of my face.  We'll say it was dodgy.

Well, some of you might not know this, but my wife loves eating out for breakfast.  She likes fast food's fake eggs and diners' quaintness.  We chose Kneaders.  The workers probably thought I had the plague or something, but allowed us to order and didn't complain when we chose a table that was far away from the rest of the customers and mostly out of sight.  They even brought our food to our table.  I think they were afraid I would suddenly explode and they'd have to mop up if I walked around too much.

On the way home we got gas (because we were going to Salt Lake that night) and got The Green Hornet from Redbox (because, with my allergies, we weren't going to do anything else).  While walking from our car to our condo I noticed the wind pick up and watched what looked to be a big cloud of dust come wafting off a big pine tree in front of our house.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I think I'm allergic to pine trees pollinating.  I almost cried.  I was already hurting so much, and I'd just seen my nemesis show its power, and I became afraid.  I knew we had a big night planned, and a little pine tree procreation was not going to stop it from being awesome, so against recommendations on the bottle, I took another half allergy pill and drank lot of water to keep myself from turning into a raisin.  We watched Green Hornet, it was really so-so.  I doubt I'll buy it.

The big plans we had made were going to The Melting Pot for dinner.  It's a place that requires reservations and has a valet.  To my knowledge, I've never used either of those services before last night.  It's a fondue place that is designed to allow people time to sit and talk without the waiter being annoying and while enjoying great food.  It did not disappoint.  Our waiter, Ryan, was great.  He answered all of questions without being snooty and was always quick to refill drinks - just what a waiter should be.  The food was awesome, and my wife and I got a chance to talk.

In our conversation I asked what her favorite part of being married has been (talk about your loaded questions).  She smiled and said there were lots of favorites, one of them being 'cuddling up close.'  It's what normal people call cuddling.  Not sure why we say this.  I pressed her for another favorite, and while she thought I thought of mine, which was that I liked having someone there no matter what happened.  Sure, my wife is beautiful, and fun, and cool, but when it comes right down to it, I know that my wife is going to be there for me, no matter what happens, and that's really what I love most about her.  She then said basically what I had been thinking.  It was nice to know she depended on me too.

Later, we talked about how I want so badly to take her to Switzerland.  I know she would love the food, and the architecture, and the people, and the green grass, and the water (it's seriously everywhere, which for people from the desert, lookss pretty awesome).  After we'd talked about that for a while she looked at me and said, "That's another favorite.  I like sharing experiences with you."  I hadn't thought of it, but I love that too.

I love being married to my wife.  Sure, we're not always in sync, and sure, we don't always agree, but it's so nice when we do that it makes up for when we don't.  In my Marriage and Family Relations class my teacher asked us how we would define a successful marriage.  After some deliberation about happiness, and fulfillment, and time spent together I came to the conclusion that a successful marriage is one where the end product is greater than the some of its parts.  A marriage where each person is lifted because they are married.  And I feel like, at least for the time being, my marriage is a success.  I am a better person because I'm with my wife, and my wife says the same thing, though it's hard for me to believe.  As Jack Johnson would say, "We're better together."

Have a nice day.

Fresh Off the Vine

1. We bought a bunch of used DVD's and they all work.  We watched the last one last night.
2. My dad and mom went on a trip to Australia.  I'll miss not having them here, but my mom seldom does anything for herself, so I'm really happy to see her take a trip and rest a bit.
3. My dad took my (mostly) finished manuscript on the trip so he can start editing.  All I lack is the concluding chapter and looking up a few more quotes.

My wife and I bought some bacon about a week ago with the intention of making bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches.  We decided not to buy the produce until we were sure we were going to make them so that it wouldn't go bad.  Last night, we decided that today was the day, and we went to the grocery store to buy the lettuce and the tomatoes.  My wife went off to grab the lettuce and left me to choose the tomatoes.  I've picked out tomatoes all my life, so the choice was easy.  I knew we didn't want Roma's because they weren't good for that type of sandwich.  The other choices were some orange looking ones, and some beautiful, medium sized red ones that were "fresh off the vine" -a new phenomenon here in the states that really just means that they are still on their vines and that they cost more.

As I grabbed them, their sweet perfume wafted up and I couldn't help but smile a little.  That smell has meant so many things to me in my life, all of them wonderful.  My wife caught up with me and I didn't have much time to think about the scent, so I bagged them and we checked out.  It wasn't until we got home and I sat down in our "reading chair" that I smelled my fingers, which still smelled of the tomatoes, and had a moment to think about what all that smell meant to me.  It turns out that there were three things that the smell reminded me of, all three of them people.

The first person was Great Grandpa Paul.  So many of my memories are of his garden.  I remember thinking it was huge when I was younger, but looking at it now, it's really just normal sized for anyone living in the country with some land.  In his garden was usually corn, and a few other things, but it always had tomatoes.  Beef Masters were his favorite.  They grew in little bushes and he always fought off the dry heat of Arizona and parasites to ensure a good harvest.  Some of my fondest memories are of the two of us watching water slowly run down each row, and smelling the tomatoes when we picked one or two.

The second person was my dad.  As I've said before, my dad is a bit eccentric when he sets his mind to something, but he's innovative as well.  When we moved to 'the big city' - which was really just Orem, but it seemed big- my dad got the idea that we needed a garden, but we had very little space for one.  So, he learned how to make certain tomato breeds climb a piece of twine, so as to keep them off the ground and use what little gardening space we had.  He liked Early Girls and Better Boys.  They both climb and both produce quickly.  My dad got them to grow so well that they stood taller than a full grown man, and the tomatoes were between a baseball and a softball, I'm not exaggerating.  I remember being outside in the summer time, helping my dad water them or picking some for dinner and the sweet aroma of the tomatoes filling, what felt like, every nook and cranny of my soul.  I love summers and part of summers are tomatoes.

The third and last person I thought of was my sister.  She was always more involved with the garden than I was.  I enjoyed watering and eating the tomatoes, fresh off the vine and still warm from the sun.  She loved those things too, but she loved working at making things grow.  So, my parents gave her some cherry tomato plants, and she went to work, having them climb a post next to the house.  When the summer was over the plant was taller than the house and had some of the best cherry tomatoes you've ever tasted.  Every once and a while I'd sneak one of them and if she caught me she'd get mad because they were hers and I needed to ask if I was going to eat one.

Mostly tomatoes make me think of happy times.  Gardening, lazy summer days, or preparing for a nice meal with the freshest of produce.  So, it was no wonder that Ridley's "Fresh Off the Vine" tomatoes made me smile.  They make me think of great people, and great times.

Have a nice day.