This Isn't What She Signed Up For

I was thinking about my wife today, and about how thankful I am for her.  Among other reasons, the one that has stood out the most over the past few months, is how supportive she is of me.

When we very first got engaged, and before that as well, we talked a lot about a lot of things.  We discussed goals, and how we wanted our house ran.  We decided that she would put me through school and that I would become a therapist, then I would work and she would be a stay at home mom.  I hadn't looked into Yoga, or Buddhism, or any other Eastern thought.  I never wore sweats, and I never wore shorts.  I thought I had a lot of things figured out, and because I'm so opinionated, I'm sure she had no reason to think that any of those opinions would ever change.

Well, they did change.  I decided not to become a therapist, and my wife pushed me to try writing (something I had always dreamed of doing, but which I had thought was a little too risky).  We discussed how much money I would make, and realistically realized that it may not be that much, but that if I am moderately successful and love it, that she would continue teaching, and I would be a stay at home dad.  This semester, as most of you know, I've fallen in love with Yoga, and how great it makes me feel.  I've also started looking into Buddhism, and how some of those practices might help me come closer to God.  I wear sweats now, most of the time, and my wife talked me into shorts last summer.  My opinions have changed drastically.  I don't have anything figured out (which I'm told is normal the older that you get), but I'm still just as opinionated.

A few weeks ago, while my wife and I lay in bed, I turned to her and said, "_______, this isn't really what you signed up for is it?"  She gave me a puzzled look, and told me she didn't know what I meant.  I rehearsed to her what I wrote above, about how much I had changed, and how I certainly wasn't the person that she married.  She thought for a while and said, something to the effect of, "Paul, you are the man I married.  I knew you were passionate, and I knew that things would change.  You still love me, and you're still what I want."

I still don't think this is what she signed up for, but it's nice to know that she's still supporting me no matter what.  I've been told, a few times here in blogger world, that it's so great that I'm so loyal to my wife.  Now, I'm not saying that there aren't assholes who step out on some pretty great women, but I really can't take all the credit for how loyal I am.  My wife deserves at least half of that credit, if not like ninety percent of it.  I'm not saying that I wouldn't be loyal if I had married a shrew, but my wife sure makes being loyal easy.

Watching the Fish at Cabela's Get Fed

A while ago I wrote a blog about bad drivers. Part of what I wrote about was the parking here at UVU and how much I hate people who stop their cars in the middle of the path and wait for a spot to open up.  I have a confession to make,  yesterday morning, I was one of those people.

Don't burn me at the stake just yet, let me justify myself.  First, let me paint you a picture.  I go to a community college which just upped its number of students, so much so that the current stat on parking is 1 spot to 6 students.  Now, this doesn't take into account the people who walk and take the bus, but I go to a commuter school (which means few people walk) and I live in Utah (which means that the only way they'd take the bus is if they woke up two hours early to do so).  Let's say, to be fair and probably pretty conservative, that it's more like 1 spot to every 4.5 people.  Either way, there aren't many spots available, and I'm surprised that no one has been shot over getting a good spot, even here in Orem. 

So, with this competition, I get to school about an hour early every day, just in case a spot doesn't open up for a while (I've almost been late before doing this, I kid you not).  Yesterday, upon arrival, I scoped out the lot and saw seven cars driving around, every spot taken, and exactly zero students walking to their cars.  I drove around a bit and finally realized that I was just waisting gas and should probably stop driving until the students came out.  So I sat.

As I sat, more cars came.  So many more that I looked in my rear view and saw a row of ten cars slowly driving the other way.  All with no real hope because students had not come out yet.  Where I was parked happened to be looking right at the main doors to one of the busiest buildings at my college, so I watched them. 

Have you ever been to Cabela's when they drop little fish into the bass and trout tank for feeding time?  If so, keep that in mind. 

The doors opened and out poured dozens of students.  I could feel the tension mounting around me.  I began strangling my steering wheel and poking out my elbows in preparation to get one of these prized spots.  I saw other drivers doing the same.  A few were unaware of the swarm of students heading our way, but I was not about to let them in on the secret.  My animal instincts kicked in, and I was going to get what I wanted.

This whole time, I stayed in the same spot.  I debated moving, but I was in a good spot.  In front of me lied dozens of spots, ripe for the picking, once students reached them.  So I sat.  That's right folks.  I was one of the squatters who was too selfish to drive around like everyone else.  I defended my own conscience by noting that cars were constantly passing me; if I moved I would probably cause an accident.  Oh, what a liar I was (Gulliver's Travels reference anyone?)

I did eventually get a spot, though I probably didn't deserve it.  I feel a little bad, but I do understand how some of these people get to be squatters.  It's not that they are the jerks I thought they were, it's that they don't want to waste gas, and once that shoot opens up that let all the fish students out into the tank lot, it's hard not to just wait for an easy meal spot.

How D&D Went

Well guys, A&G asked for it, and as we all know, A&G gets what he asks for.  I'm going to try,to the best of my ability, to tell you how Dnd went without boring you to death.  Explaining a dnd game is much like explaining a video game: it's awesome when it's happening, not so great in the explanation.  I see this as an opportunity to do a few things.  First and foremost, use it as a writing exercise.  I'll call it, 'taking something that is boring as hell and trying to make it interesting.'  Second, I'm hoping to get a little feedback on the storyline, because being a DM is really just telling a really long choose your own ending book.  And lastly, I had nothing else to write about today.  If you're one of my three players, there will be spoilers.  If you're going to criticise my writing, go ahead, but I have no intention of really revising this.  Here we go, welcome to the magical world of: DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!  (my sister in law gave me a set of dnd cartoons for Christmas, they're actually pretty good and they say this before every episode).

Three adventurers are questing to end the slave trade of a quickly dying race (much like the Na'avi from Avatar: look, society, race name, pretty much everything).  Little do they know, an Ancient, Red Dragon, through lesser dragons who are his puppets, lies behind the slaves' captures and distribution.  He hopes to once again help his lesser race, The Dragonborne, rule the world, with him at its absolute head.  The slaves are being taken to make weapons out of a material called Unobtanium (I shit you not) which is perfect for weapons of war, but will not bend for any race, but the Na'avi.

The latest installment of quests came when our three heroes sailed to the city of (I can't remember, something coolish) to try and find the root of the slave trade, one of them being a Na'avi himself, one being an Eladrin (closely related to Elves, but a different species), and a, oh goodness, I can't remember the name, picture Wolverine without the claws, who is in search of coming closer to the land, and knows no race is closer than the Na'avi.  The three meet a man whose ring was stolen while he was on a merchant ship.  Through asking around, they are sent to talk to Rafael, a Shadowfell who runs a theives' guild.  Rafael explains that one of his men did steal the ring, though he shouldn't have because it was something special to someone, and Rafael makes a strict rule not to do that, but cannot let the three leave until they have stolen some things so that Rafael can blackmail them in case they decide to turn on him.  He gives them three tasks to perform.

The interesting part happened on the second task.  It was supposed to be easy.  They were told to steal a Barbarian's sword from a man who was known to be evil.  The man was away on business, they were told to go to the house at night, and that only one person would be watching the house.  All they had to do was climb to the top window, be a little sneaky, steal the sword, and no one would be the wiser.  Here's how it went down:

The three approached the home of Alfred (the evil guy) carefully, trying to make sure that they were not seen.  They looked at the three story home and analyzed its layout, windows and height, and decided to let the thief (the Eladrin) climb the home while the other two went to the front of the house to keep watch.  The thief had trouble at first, the house was not easy to climb, but eventually reached the third story window (where any dnd player knows the sword must be).  He did so stealthily, no one saw or heard his doings.

At the front of the house the two rangers waited, and eventually became bored and wanted to help.  So, they went to the door in hopes of distracting the man guarding the house.  The wolfman pounded on the door, pretending the Na'avi with him was his slave.  The guard woke, and came to the door, opened the smaller window to peer out at them, and asked what they were doing.  The wolfman explained that the Na'avi had been acting up, and the he was told that this was the house that would help him teach the Na'avi slave to mind "properly."  The guard explained that Alfred was not home and that he could not help in such matters.

The Eladrin continued sneaking into the home and found a forge with some Unobtainium weapons in the same room. He grabbed a rock of it without fully knowing what it was, and began picking the lock to leave the room.

Below, the wolfman and Na'avi continued trying to distract the guard, but only succeeded in the guard calling the town guards over for assistance and making him closely listen for if the two at the door were trying to distract them.  The Eladrin made more noise than he was supposed to and the guard began running up the stairs.

The guards below were telling the two to take off, and the Na'avi began a tribal dance to distract them while the wolfman laughed at the Na'avi.  As the dance continued, the guard eventually found the Eladrin thief, and the thief was forced to drug him and tie him up.

The Na'avi continued trying to distract the guards, but fell over, alerting them that they needed to go into the house to make sure everything was okay.  With the guard upstairs tied up, the thief went to statue of the Barbarian and unsheathed his sword without trying to see if there were any traps.  The sword was trapped with a fireball, which the Eladrin mostly dodged, but could not stop from starting the house on fire.  This alerted the guards below even more so and they ran up the stairs to see what was the matter.  The Eladrin, acting in haste, and not knowing what to do (the player did a great job of keeping in character) threw the young tied up guard into the fire and began running for a window.

He failed to pick the lock at the window and heard a creature waking up in the other room that he was not aware of.  The thief attempted to pick the lock to get to the other room, but could feel the flames from the trap engulfing the room on the other side.  After one failed attempt, and the fire raging, he finally made it to the other side of the door, and saw a Na'avi burst through the door leading into another room.  He called to the Na'avi and opened the window.  Both jumped down and took minimal damage.  Then the Eladrin player had to go home.

Basically, things went as bad as they could have gone without the players dying.  I thought it was hilarious.  Anyway, I hope that wasn't too boring.  It was a fun game though, I will say that.  Can't wait for February's installment, when they will finish up the third task and go to the tomb of Lord Darkstar, should be good.  Let me know if you are at all interested in me explaining how Dnd went again.  If I hear nothing, I will assume that I should blog about other things. :)

My Mind Won't Shut Off

So, I've been having a hard time sleeping lately.  It's not because I don't exercise (remember all of my Yoga incidences).  And I wouldn't say that I don't wake up early or go to bed early (I wake up at six forty to make my wife breakfast and go to bed at ten).  I've decided it's because my brain won't shut off.

When I was little, and I was having a hard time getting to sleep, my dad would often tell me to envision what I would do with one million dollars.  Now, I was ten, so it usually consisted of my buying every X-Men action figure imaginable, but it started me on a path of sleepless nights (when I have something really good to day dream about).

Lately, I've been thinking about my writing career.  I have a children's book already written.  What if, I entered it into some contest and they found it so wonderful that they wanted to pay me to publish it?  What if, because I published it, I got to speak at the writer's convention I went to last year as an aspiring writer?  How would I finish school?  How much editing would need to be done?  What if it made it so my wife and I could pay off our condo!?!?  And it's moments like this that I realize something:  being married changes what you daydream about.

I cannot explain how excited I get when I think about paying off the condo.  It's so far off.  We've pretty much concluded that we will move before it's paid off, and still, we pay more than the minimum payment.  Wouldn't it be awesome to have that much more money every month to work with?  That whole house payment's worth?

I also dream about other things that I never thought I'd dream about, like what my kid will do when they're growing up, activities wise.  Will he play football like his grandma would love, or will she play ice hockey, like her dad?  Will he be an actor like his mom, or will she water ski like her grandpa?  I get excited thinking about this too.

And then I think about what I used to dream about.  I used to dream about BMW Z-3's, now I wouldn't even think of buying one, not until all my kids are grown anyway.  That little sport's car costs a lot, and doesn't have room for a car seat.  I used to dream about a mansion.  Why would we get a mansion?  That would just be more rooms to clean.  What I really dream about now is making life comfortable for me, my wife, and our little family.  It think it's funny how pathetic I might have seen myself three years ago, and how I really just don't give a damn. :)

Some of My Writing

As many of you know, College is a great experience, and part of that experience is meeting new people.  I made a friend when I very first started in one of my general classes.  As with most college friendships, I wasn't sure how long it would last, but we found that we both loved writing, and that love seems to have been one of many things that has kept us in contact over these three or four years.

A couple of months ago, he asked me to do a character sketch for him.  It was for a book he's been working on for a while, and he was trying to make one for his heroin in the story, but was finding it difficult because he was basing her on a person he actually knows really well, and as us writers know, it can sometimes be difficult describing someone for the first time when we've known them for years.

At first, I didn't know where to start.  I have a hard time doing the cut and dry character sketches, and I knew he wanted more than a sheet with that said, Eyes: Brown, Hair: Brown, Complexion: Exotic, blah blah blah... so I left it on the back burner until I got an idea for describing her yesterday.

My real issue is that I needed her in some kind of setting.  I needed her to be doing something.  I finally figured out that writing stories, is kind of like making movies.  In a movie, they show you a picture to evoke an emotion, in books, we have to make you think of a picture that evokes an emotion (a pretty difficult task).  I had to do more than describe her dimensions and hair color, I had to help you know what it's like to first have her walk into your life.  I need for you to feel what that's like.  I have a feeling that I wrote her stronger than my friend wanted, but I think it was a good exercise anyway.

Anyway, this is me, taking that real big leap that many of us bloggers often want to take, but are very afraid to:  I'm going to show you some of my writing.  I'll add the caveat that many of us do, I only worked on it for like, two hours, and if I had cleaned it more it would be better, and blah blah blah.... tell me what you think, but don't be too crushing. :)

She was late.  Not by much, but enough for me to notice the dim, 1950’s hotel lights lining the walls.  The place was packed with high rollers in Italian originals, playmates flaunting their little black numbers, and the department store two piecers feeling up the high rollers.  The room itself was thin, just a sliver in the row of buildings it rested in.  Fire Code probably restricted the number of occupants hours ago.

I sat alone, watching the low roar.  The predators, their prey, and the poisonous temptations.  Then she walked in.   The energy of the lights, the music, the tinkling glasses and the talking people were stolen to illuminate her perfect figure.  The elongated neck, the slender shoulders on down to her muscular legs, shown by the slit in her dress.  Her figure made her look much taller than she was, even among the power mongers and their leggy toys.

Her creamy, milk chocolate skin spoke Aztec Goddess, clad in a silk dress, made of leopard print material.  The trappings may have screamed indigenous native, but her eyes were unaware of the Spanish Conquest’s success.

Those staggering eyes glanced over the room and eventually found me.  Her target.  She walked toward me, each step calculated and fluid.  Each step sunk into the floor and became one with the room.

I searched through the brown of her eyes for information and found a vault and an open book, all at the same time.  Tears were not a rarity, but few had been seen by any living person.  The cause of her grief was also a mystery, though I knew they had seen Hell.

She searched through me as well.  She’d been hurt, but was determined not to be hurt again.  I could feel myself being picked apart.  My fear, my weaknesses, and my worries were all on display.  I tried to build up a wall, but I was already in her grasp.

  Within the ten seconds it took her to walk to me, I knew that she would be my predator, and I her prey.  Either the strength she exhibited was real, and I would find myself following her to my death, or it was a façade, and I would protect her to my last breathe. 

Her slender hand gracefully gripped the back of the chair, pulled it out, and she slid into the seat opposite mine.


Thanks for reading.  Have a nice day. :)

Someone Sent a Little Love My Way

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I've made it a point not to blog on the weekends and wouldn't you know it, that's when I get my very first blogging award.  Alittlesprite came and dropped off some love to me over the weekend and it's not until now that I've been able to address it.  I'd like to thank my wife, for putting up with my whining about views and comments, I'd like to thank Alittlsprite for noticing my little speck of a blog on the vastness that is the Internet, and I'd like to thank my parents for always believing in me.  Here are the awards, and my attempt at following the rules that go along with them:

Well, like Alittlesprite, I don't think I'll choose 15, because (again like her) I think I follow about 15, so if you'll please look to the right in the section that displays blogs I follow, it would be greatly appreciated.  If you're on my list, please take these awards and run with them.  I do feel a need to point out a few that I particularly like following though (although I think they already have both of these awards, I'll mention them anyway).

Vinny C :  Who never fails to make me laugh, along with making me think about the world at large.

Average Girl : Who is anything but average and always gives me compliments that make my heart glow a little.

Highway 10 : Who makes me wish he'd post a little more often so I can laugh at life a little more.

Of course, I would also encourage anyone to go and visit Alittlsprite, who is one of my favorite Aussies and is also a great source of encouragement and laughter.  Thanks Alittlesprite, I'll put seven things about me, or at least I think that's what I'm supposed to do.  I'd hate to not follow the rules on my first award.

Here we go:

1.  My elbows are double jointed.  They can hyper extend without me getting hurt and I can twist them around.  I've heard it looks gross.  I'd show you if I could.

2.  In High School, I played ice hockey, danced on the ballroom team, and played hacky sack in my free time.

3.  I'm currently going to school for Psychology, but plan on being a writer.

4.  I have the best family ever (you think yours is better, but it's not ;)).

5.  I have flat feet, so there's no such thing as not catching me flat footed.

6.  My favorite X-Man is Nightcrawler.

7.  My favorite band is Radiohead.

The Inner Nerd

We all remember them in High School. Some of us were them.  The Nerds.  The Geeks.  The Dweebs.  The kids who talked about things that were so off our radar that we couldn't help but laugh a little that they cared about something so foreign to us.  These are the kids who programmed their calculators to have games on them, or learned Japanese so that they could read their Manga from the source.  But as much as we liked to make fun of them, I think we all have a little nerd inside of us.

I think that I've written before about how I played hockey in High School, but deep inside my jock self, there was a nerd just dying to get out.  When I was younger, the nerd made his first appearance.  In first grade, I got REALLY into The X-Men.  I collected cards, I begged my parents for comic books, we played X-Men at recess, all two of us.  I was usually Gambit (falling in love with Rogue) or Wolverine who was always pissed.  And I eventually "grew out" of loving the X-Men.  Sure, when they were brought up in conversation I could run with the best of them, but I didn't buy anymore of the merchandise.  I even remember scoffing at people who said Wolverine's power was his claws, because as all X-Men nerds know, his powers are super strength, super fast rejuvenation, and, if you follow some comics, bone claws.  The adamantium skeleton was an experiment.  Granted, The Origins movie that just came out helped with that knowledge, but people still get it wrong... and I still scoff.

So, like many people I suppressed my nerdy self  and hid him away so no one could see him.  I kept him at bay with Warcraft II, Final Fantasy, and Diablo.  Video games that can be played in your own home where the only people who can know about them are people you want to tell.  And for four and a half years, the nerd passed out of all knowledge, until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer (Lord of the Rings reference, anyone).

After High School, I was asked to play Dungeons and Dragons (DnD) by some of my nerdy friends from High School.  When I was ten, I had some twelve year old friends who tried to play, but as 'anyone who know the game' knows, twelve year olds have a hard time figuring out the rules, let alone setting up campaigns.  So, we pressured him to play, he wasn't ready, got mad, and killed all of our characters, never to break the books out again.  When this new chance came, my inner nerd could be held back no longer, and it jumped.  I tried playing with them, but the Dungeon Master (DM)  was, we'll say, less experienced, and I ended up getting all that I wanted in the game and eventually got bored, got a girlfriend (in real life), and quit playing.

When my wife and I had been married for about a year, I got a crazy thought, "Why don't I buy the DnD books, and start my own campaign.  Then I'll be the DM, I'll make it up, and I'll do my best to make it not suck."  So, I got a couple of my friends together to play (ones who also hid their nerd away), and a friend I made on my mission who I knew had played the game a lot and knew the rules.  We played for a couple of months and things went well.  I had a good story going, things were moving along swimmingly and my friend from the mission had to move.  So, we stopped playing for a several months.  But my inner nerd had already been out in full force and I have not chained him since.  So, when I met someone who also played DnD, I asked if he would be interested in a monthly game, and he said yes.  My other two friends were also on board and we're playing again tomorrow night.  And I'm really excited.

This whole post was to get to those last two sentences, but could anyone really have understood them without the explanation, I submit that they could not.  I just wanted to share my excitement with you all.  Hope your weekend rocks too.