1. My D&D stuff made it to Vineyard, and should be arriving at my house today. :)
2. I was able to type the & sign without looking at my fingers... twice. This is a big accomplishment for me.
3. I got a 98% on my Yoga midterm. The test wasn't hard, but it still feels good.
Well, here it is: the last day of my rules of dating. I hope you've enjoyed them the same way that I have, and if I only help one guy do better at dating I'll feel like I've done well (so if this info helped you and you said something about it in the comments, I wouldn't feel too bad...).
First off, I meant to mention this, but found no nice place to put it: Beware of Perseverance Propaganda. "What is Perseverance Propaganda?" you might ask. It is American media. It's every movie and song where the girl cannot stand the guy at the beginning and somehow, by his harassing her, she falls in love with him and they end up together. Guys, do not be obnoxious. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that if you could only stalk this girl for a few months she'd eventually fall for you. Chances are, she won't, and she'll hate you more by the end of things, tell all her friends that you won't leave her alone, and depending on the girl, you'll end up face first in a garbage can, courtesy of the football team. So, if she's not interested, leave her alone. Now, you might ask, how do I know if she is just busy, or if she is not interested. Good question. Here's a good rule of thumb: Ask her out three times. If she's 'busy' three times, give up. Unless of course each time she says no she tells you to ask her again. Then, chances are, she really does want to go, but really is just busy often. If you ask her and she just says she's busy that day, stick to the rule of three.
Secondly, don't get discouraged. Dating can be fun. I had fun by the end of things, and I got turned down more then than in any other time of my dating. You just have to switch your paradigm from thinking you need to find THE ONE, to you finding the one that would be fun this weekend, and if things go well from there, so be it. Ask a lot, get turned down a lot. My cousin (the one who said dating is a numbers game) said he got the info from his mom, and his mom gave him the ratio of 10 turn downs to 1 number. It seems like a steep ratio, but my experience says it's true. But think, every turn down, is one of those tens that will lead you to a number.
Third, realize that there are always exceptions. For the most part, consider yourself the rule (you'll have more luck this way), but also know that every couple is probably an exception in someway to any of my rules. You see super ugly guys with attractive women all the time, my mom couldn't stand my dad to begin with, and I swore for the first time in front of my wife while we were dating when I thought her dad was going to run into the shore while water skiing. If you break a rule, don't think that it's the end of things, but if it is, don't be too surprised.
Anyway, that's all of the knowledge on this subject I'll dispense here (for now). Do look forward to the book I plan on writing on this subject, I promise I'll keep you posted. And as always, have a nice day.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Rule 9: Work On Yourself
1. I won the Stanley Cup for the second time with the LA Kings this morning in NHL 11.
2. Found out my buddy and his wife will have their baby this Sunday at the latest.
3. My car still runs. It's old. I'm just really grateful for it this morning.
Well guys, second to last rule. This one may cut you to the quick, but I've got to tell it like it is. We've discussed the normal curve, and a little on how to beat it, but this post should help you look seriously at yourselves, where you fit on that curve, and if you want to change things.
Let's start with this: Would you want to date you? I want you to think about it seriously. Take a moment. Be silent. Stop reading for a little while and think about it honestly. If you were a woman in today's world, with rape, murder, abuse, and pain in the news everyday, would you want to be with you? Would you trust you? If a guy who looked and acted just like you walked up to your girl self, and asked for her number, would your girl self give it? If you took your girl self on a couple of dates, would your girl self want to continue? Even if the dates were planned well?
If you said no to these questions, let's consider changing. Now, before you get all huffy, I don't want you to change what is fundamentally you. Don't change your values, or your morals (unless your values consist of instant gratification and violence, and your morals consist of as many partners as possible and doing drugs as often as you can get your hands on them, because these can and need to change). The image I want you to think of comes from Hitch, when he has the guy buy the new shoes and the guy says they aren't really him. Hitch answers, "YOU, is a very fluid term right now. You bought the shoes. You look great in the shoes. This is the you I'm talkin' about." Don't change what's really important, but look at things that drag you to the outlying parts of the normal curve, and think about if those things are endearing or obnoxious.
For example: When my wife and I first got married I was on the VERY far right side of opinionated... to be honest I still am. How I expressed those opinions was also to the very far right. How this really came across was that I always sounded like my word was law whenever we had an argument, because I expressed my opinions so forcefully and with so many supporting points. My wife hadn't even had a chance to think about the issue, so she felt trapped, though she didn't like my conclusion. She expressed that to me and I had to think, "Is 'expressing my opinions forcefully' really fundamentally me? Would I want to be in my wife's position, feeling trapped every time there is a difference of opinion?" My obvious answer was, "No. On both counts." So what did I do? I changed. I now ask my wife about something and give her time to think, or try to phrase my opinions in a softer way. Everyone is happier.
So, today's advice: If your not who you want to be, you can change. If you want to get fitter, weights and fitness plans exist. If you want to be less abrasive, ask friends and family to tell you when you're being abrasive. Do you dress in all black and wear KISS make up? It's an easy fix: buy some new clothes, and wake up a little later every morning. Change will take time and effort. I can say that because I used a lot of both of these before I became someone my wife would be able to tolerate. I quit swearing. It was hard, but chicks tend to not like it. I figured out which jokes were funny to my guy and girl friends, and which ones weren't, and I stopped using the ones girls didn't like. Change is possible and effective, I promise.
Have a nice day.
2. Found out my buddy and his wife will have their baby this Sunday at the latest.
3. My car still runs. It's old. I'm just really grateful for it this morning.
Well guys, second to last rule. This one may cut you to the quick, but I've got to tell it like it is. We've discussed the normal curve, and a little on how to beat it, but this post should help you look seriously at yourselves, where you fit on that curve, and if you want to change things.
Let's start with this: Would you want to date you? I want you to think about it seriously. Take a moment. Be silent. Stop reading for a little while and think about it honestly. If you were a woman in today's world, with rape, murder, abuse, and pain in the news everyday, would you want to be with you? Would you trust you? If a guy who looked and acted just like you walked up to your girl self, and asked for her number, would your girl self give it? If you took your girl self on a couple of dates, would your girl self want to continue? Even if the dates were planned well?
If you said no to these questions, let's consider changing. Now, before you get all huffy, I don't want you to change what is fundamentally you. Don't change your values, or your morals (unless your values consist of instant gratification and violence, and your morals consist of as many partners as possible and doing drugs as often as you can get your hands on them, because these can and need to change). The image I want you to think of comes from Hitch, when he has the guy buy the new shoes and the guy says they aren't really him. Hitch answers, "YOU, is a very fluid term right now. You bought the shoes. You look great in the shoes. This is the you I'm talkin' about." Don't change what's really important, but look at things that drag you to the outlying parts of the normal curve, and think about if those things are endearing or obnoxious.
For example: When my wife and I first got married I was on the VERY far right side of opinionated... to be honest I still am. How I expressed those opinions was also to the very far right. How this really came across was that I always sounded like my word was law whenever we had an argument, because I expressed my opinions so forcefully and with so many supporting points. My wife hadn't even had a chance to think about the issue, so she felt trapped, though she didn't like my conclusion. She expressed that to me and I had to think, "Is 'expressing my opinions forcefully' really fundamentally me? Would I want to be in my wife's position, feeling trapped every time there is a difference of opinion?" My obvious answer was, "No. On both counts." So what did I do? I changed. I now ask my wife about something and give her time to think, or try to phrase my opinions in a softer way. Everyone is happier.
So, today's advice: If your not who you want to be, you can change. If you want to get fitter, weights and fitness plans exist. If you want to be less abrasive, ask friends and family to tell you when you're being abrasive. Do you dress in all black and wear KISS make up? It's an easy fix: buy some new clothes, and wake up a little later every morning. Change will take time and effort. I can say that because I used a lot of both of these before I became someone my wife would be able to tolerate. I quit swearing. It was hard, but chicks tend to not like it. I figured out which jokes were funny to my guy and girl friends, and which ones weren't, and I stopped using the ones girls didn't like. Change is possible and effective, I promise.
Have a nice day.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Rule 8: Don't Go Steady in High School
1. I got into the playoffs again in NHL 11, and I swept Phoenix in the first.
2. I did partner Yoga yesterday for the first time and lifted a football player with my legs.
3. My wife accidentally spilled water on my lap top, but after it dried out some, it still worked.
Today's post won't be popular, and I understand that. I know this because I remember me in high school. I remember buying into the 'liking one person' phenomenon. I remember looking at my parents and noticing how happy they were just to have each other. I also remember thinking that I was very mature for my age, and was ready to be in a serious relationship. I remember my dad telling me that having a girlfriend was a bad idea in high school, and just like with the quick date idea, I thought that my dad was an idiot.
It all went down my junior year. I made the ballroom team, along with the hockey team, and was in the middle of juggling both. Most of my friends were either on the hockey team or ran with hockey players, so I didn't really have many friends on ballroom to start with, and I mostly kept to myself. In one of the dances (I think the two step routine), I got paired with the ballroom captain. She was cute, and there were enough breaks for me to joke around with her and eventually drive her home, and end up holding hands with her on her mom's couch. It was pretty cool. What followed can be observed on Bambi, we both got butterflies, and our eyes got large and glassy. And soon, we became inseparable.
So inseparable in fact, that my friends remember it as the year that I disappeared. What can I say? They were out chasing girls, and I had a girlfriend. We really weren't up to the same things. I saw my hockey buddies at practice, but that was about it. The rest of my time was spent with my girlfriend.
She was a year older, so that summer we broke up. She went off to college and I started my senior year. I rarely dated that year, and found no other girlfriend. I dated the girl my junior year for nine months. To be honest, it was nine months of making out and arguing. That's really all we did. And, the other girls at the high school who were interested in me had noticed us, and never asked if we were still together. Because we had been inseparable, I assume that people assumed that we were still together, and because I'm an introvert, I didn't talk enough to let them know otherwise.
Now, I do need to say that the girl I dated really is a wonderful person. She is very sweet, and very kind. To be honest, I didn't deserve to be with her. I was kind of a jerk through a lot of the relationship (not as mature as I thought). The bottom line though, and again, I don't expect this to be a popular opinion, is to date a lot of people in high school, and don't 'go steady.' I know that your mature, more mature than I was. I know you've thought this through, and it seems like the right idea. But please, just take it from me, and don't go steady in high school.
Have a nice day.
2. I did partner Yoga yesterday for the first time and lifted a football player with my legs.
3. My wife accidentally spilled water on my lap top, but after it dried out some, it still worked.
Today's post won't be popular, and I understand that. I know this because I remember me in high school. I remember buying into the 'liking one person' phenomenon. I remember looking at my parents and noticing how happy they were just to have each other. I also remember thinking that I was very mature for my age, and was ready to be in a serious relationship. I remember my dad telling me that having a girlfriend was a bad idea in high school, and just like with the quick date idea, I thought that my dad was an idiot.
It all went down my junior year. I made the ballroom team, along with the hockey team, and was in the middle of juggling both. Most of my friends were either on the hockey team or ran with hockey players, so I didn't really have many friends on ballroom to start with, and I mostly kept to myself. In one of the dances (I think the two step routine), I got paired with the ballroom captain. She was cute, and there were enough breaks for me to joke around with her and eventually drive her home, and end up holding hands with her on her mom's couch. It was pretty cool. What followed can be observed on Bambi, we both got butterflies, and our eyes got large and glassy. And soon, we became inseparable.
So inseparable in fact, that my friends remember it as the year that I disappeared. What can I say? They were out chasing girls, and I had a girlfriend. We really weren't up to the same things. I saw my hockey buddies at practice, but that was about it. The rest of my time was spent with my girlfriend.
She was a year older, so that summer we broke up. She went off to college and I started my senior year. I rarely dated that year, and found no other girlfriend. I dated the girl my junior year for nine months. To be honest, it was nine months of making out and arguing. That's really all we did. And, the other girls at the high school who were interested in me had noticed us, and never asked if we were still together. Because we had been inseparable, I assume that people assumed that we were still together, and because I'm an introvert, I didn't talk enough to let them know otherwise.
Now, I do need to say that the girl I dated really is a wonderful person. She is very sweet, and very kind. To be honest, I didn't deserve to be with her. I was kind of a jerk through a lot of the relationship (not as mature as I thought). The bottom line though, and again, I don't expect this to be a popular opinion, is to date a lot of people in high school, and don't 'go steady.' I know that your mature, more mature than I was. I know you've thought this through, and it seems like the right idea. But please, just take it from me, and don't go steady in high school.
Have a nice day.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Fairies
1. I've had a chance to reflect on some of the amazing people I've met here in blog world
2. I'm reminded lately about how much great literature we have.
3. My team in NHL 11 is still undefeated
2. I'm reminded lately about how much great literature we have.
3. My team in NHL 11 is still undefeated
"You see, Wendy, when the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies."
-Peter Pan (All children, except one, grow up)
Fairies, or sprites, are mischievous, fun loving, trick playing creatures that find joy in a good laugh. They are often thought of as aloof and frivolous because, when seen, they are often laughing, and chattering to each other, or playing tricks on some unsuspecting victim. But, upon closer inspection, we see that they are, in fact, very deep feeling creatures who are in touch with the emotional well being of those around them. They care about everyone (even when they are pulling that person's hair because they are jealous of them).
In fact, part of the charge of fairies is to care for one child as he or she grows up. Of course, there are not enough fairies anymore for each child. The reason:
"No. You see, children know such a lot now, they soon don't believe in fairies, and every time a child says, 'I do not believe in ________.' There is a fairy, somewhere, that falls down dead."
Dear friends, let's all look at our lives. Both when we were young and now that we are old, and we were able to find ourselves a little sprite to care for us. Let's look seriously at the times when we got hurt, or just needed someone to turn to. We needed a protector, and so often, one came. I'm inclined to say that I believe in Sprites, no matter how ordinary they may seem on the outside. For all I know, simply because they could not bear for children to not believe in them anymore, they have changed shape and size, so that they can continue helping, just as they did when they first 'wen't skipping about.' Please dear friends, try to find it within yourselves to once again believe.
Have a nice day.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Rule 7: Figure Out What She Likes
1. My wife let me order a bunch of D&D stuff. I have three books and 23 miniatures coming to me in the mail right now... I'm so happy.
2. I got a good parking spot quickly.
3. I took the Yoga midterm and feel really good about it.
When I was in high school, there was a woman in my church who thought that I was such a nice young man, and she knew a girl who was just getting back on to the dating scene. Previously, the girl had dated some pretty big jerks, and the woman in my ward asked if I would take her on a date. Now, I have mentioned previously that I was not a natural at dating. I was natural at being a nice guy, but I was only sixteen, and did not know how to plan well. I can't remember what we did first, but I decided to take her to a Thai restaurant that I liked a lot afterward. Note: That I liked a lot. It was a little hole in the wall back then, on an out of the way street in Provo. We probably drove around for twenty minutes looking for this place, until I gave up and asked if she liked Mexican food. She said that she did, but that she liked fast food Mexican (Taco Bell was her example). I'm ashamed to say that Taco Bell was 'below my dignity' and I took us a to a Mexican food place that I had never been to before. It was pretty good, but not great. After we ate, I asked if she liked it. She said that it was okay, but that she liked Taco Bell better...
When my sister was just out of high school, there was a guy who took her to a movie. They had been on a few dates before, and my sister thought he was pretty cool. He took her to Knocked Up. I've never seen it. Some of my buddies said that it was funny, but that there was a lot of swearing, a lot of nudity, a lot of sex jokes: a lot of stuff that offends my sister. She walked out of the movie, and the guy didn't come looking for her for half an hour. When he did finally come, she asked for him to take her home. She never went out with him again.
Guys, I should hope by now that you can see what's wrong with both of these stories. At the base of both, is selfishness, which is against the gentleman's code anyway, but just as evil as selfishness, is the inability to do one's homework, and to think of the girl he's taking out.
The first thing to do to avoid this is to plan before you go. I know that I've already stressed this, but let me give you some specifics. Eat at the restaurant before you go to it. Know a few different things on the menu, so that when she asks what's good, you know a few things that might spark her interest (the girl I went with asked what was good at the Mexican place. I had no clue). Know how to get to that restaurant, clear exact directions that make it so that you can drive to it confidently. See the movie before taking the girl to it (breaking this rule is the only possible saving grace for the guy mentioned, in my mind. He already knew that stuff offended my sister). And even if it's not a movie or a restaurant, always do your homework on any activity. Does this band cuss every three seconds even though they don't in their songs? Is this ice rink in a sketch part of town? etc. etc.
The second thing is to listen to your date and figure out where she stands on stuff. I should have listened to the girl and gone to Taco Bell. It was what she wanted, and I was too selfish to figure that out. The guy knew that stuff offended my sister, he should have walked out too.
So, to reiterate: Plan to impress, not just a list of things to do, but a way to get to them and make them as enjoyable as possible once you get there. And, listen to the girl. She has opinions and stuff that you need to know to help her have fun.
Have a nice day.
2. I got a good parking spot quickly.
3. I took the Yoga midterm and feel really good about it.
When I was in high school, there was a woman in my church who thought that I was such a nice young man, and she knew a girl who was just getting back on to the dating scene. Previously, the girl had dated some pretty big jerks, and the woman in my ward asked if I would take her on a date. Now, I have mentioned previously that I was not a natural at dating. I was natural at being a nice guy, but I was only sixteen, and did not know how to plan well. I can't remember what we did first, but I decided to take her to a Thai restaurant that I liked a lot afterward. Note: That I liked a lot. It was a little hole in the wall back then, on an out of the way street in Provo. We probably drove around for twenty minutes looking for this place, until I gave up and asked if she liked Mexican food. She said that she did, but that she liked fast food Mexican (Taco Bell was her example). I'm ashamed to say that Taco Bell was 'below my dignity' and I took us a to a Mexican food place that I had never been to before. It was pretty good, but not great. After we ate, I asked if she liked it. She said that it was okay, but that she liked Taco Bell better...
When my sister was just out of high school, there was a guy who took her to a movie. They had been on a few dates before, and my sister thought he was pretty cool. He took her to Knocked Up. I've never seen it. Some of my buddies said that it was funny, but that there was a lot of swearing, a lot of nudity, a lot of sex jokes: a lot of stuff that offends my sister. She walked out of the movie, and the guy didn't come looking for her for half an hour. When he did finally come, she asked for him to take her home. She never went out with him again.
Guys, I should hope by now that you can see what's wrong with both of these stories. At the base of both, is selfishness, which is against the gentleman's code anyway, but just as evil as selfishness, is the inability to do one's homework, and to think of the girl he's taking out.
The first thing to do to avoid this is to plan before you go. I know that I've already stressed this, but let me give you some specifics. Eat at the restaurant before you go to it. Know a few different things on the menu, so that when she asks what's good, you know a few things that might spark her interest (the girl I went with asked what was good at the Mexican place. I had no clue). Know how to get to that restaurant, clear exact directions that make it so that you can drive to it confidently. See the movie before taking the girl to it (breaking this rule is the only possible saving grace for the guy mentioned, in my mind. He already knew that stuff offended my sister). And even if it's not a movie or a restaurant, always do your homework on any activity. Does this band cuss every three seconds even though they don't in their songs? Is this ice rink in a sketch part of town? etc. etc.
The second thing is to listen to your date and figure out where she stands on stuff. I should have listened to the girl and gone to Taco Bell. It was what she wanted, and I was too selfish to figure that out. The guy knew that stuff offended my sister, he should have walked out too.
So, to reiterate: Plan to impress, not just a list of things to do, but a way to get to them and make them as enjoyable as possible once you get there. And, listen to the girl. She has opinions and stuff that you need to know to help her have fun.
Have a nice day.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Rule 6: "Why Not Just Call Her Up on a Wednesday Night and Ask if You Can Buy Her an Ice Cream at Dairy Queen?"
1. This may sound dumb, but in my NHL 11 season, I'm eighteen games in and still undefeated. That just feels good.
2. I found a fourth player for my D&D game yesterday.
3. My wife bought me Cold Stone ice cream.
Today's post is really coming from some good advice my dad gave me in high school. At the time, I was having a really hard time aligning my schedule to the girl I was trying to date (because I was in high school and hadn't figured out that I could like more than one). I kept trying to set up these big dates on weekends, but she kept being busy (but was obviously interested at school. I'll write about when to stop asking later). I asked several times, and she was always busy. I complained to my dad about it and he gave me some advice that I still kick myself for not taking.
He said, "Paul, why do you keep trying to set up the big date? Why not just call her up on a Wednesday night and ask if you can buy her an ice cream at Dairy Queen." Of course, when I was in high school my dad was an idiot, so I scoffed and said that was the stupidest idea ever. I would continue down my path of rejection and there was nothing he could do to stop me. He dropped the issue.
Somehow, after I got home from my mission, my dad's idiotic advice suddenly became smart. Don't ask me how it happened; I still consider it a miracle. I did what he said to do, I asked girls on short quick dates that were allegedly sporadic and only took about thirty minutes. Guys, I found that the quick date is just as good as the drawn out one. Do remember that the same rules apply to the shorty: Planned, Paired Off, and Paid for. The real difference is in the call. You'll want to call about thirty minutes before you want to go on the quick date, and in the call, you need to say something slightly different than for the long date. In the short one, don't say actually say the word date. I know, this is completely against what I said before, but our society has trained us to think of dates as several hours long and something you need to 'get ready' for. Instead, you explain a date. Like this, "Hey (her name), in about half an hour I was going to go to Dairy Queen and get something. I was wondering if you'd like to come and let me buy you an ice cream." Check it out: It's planned out, you told her a time, a place, and what you'd be doing. It's paired off, she knows you are asking her, not that your buddies are going and you'd like her to come too. It's paid for, she knows that you'll be buying her an ice cream. It answers all the questions that make girls annoyed when you don't use the word date, and it's not a big event she has to plan, or get ready for.
Anyway, give the short date a shot when she doesn't have time for the long one. Sometimes it'll get you into doors the other one won't. Have a nice day.
2. I found a fourth player for my D&D game yesterday.
3. My wife bought me Cold Stone ice cream.
Today's post is really coming from some good advice my dad gave me in high school. At the time, I was having a really hard time aligning my schedule to the girl I was trying to date (because I was in high school and hadn't figured out that I could like more than one). I kept trying to set up these big dates on weekends, but she kept being busy (but was obviously interested at school. I'll write about when to stop asking later). I asked several times, and she was always busy. I complained to my dad about it and he gave me some advice that I still kick myself for not taking.
He said, "Paul, why do you keep trying to set up the big date? Why not just call her up on a Wednesday night and ask if you can buy her an ice cream at Dairy Queen." Of course, when I was in high school my dad was an idiot, so I scoffed and said that was the stupidest idea ever. I would continue down my path of rejection and there was nothing he could do to stop me. He dropped the issue.
Somehow, after I got home from my mission, my dad's idiotic advice suddenly became smart. Don't ask me how it happened; I still consider it a miracle. I did what he said to do, I asked girls on short quick dates that were allegedly sporadic and only took about thirty minutes. Guys, I found that the quick date is just as good as the drawn out one. Do remember that the same rules apply to the shorty: Planned, Paired Off, and Paid for. The real difference is in the call. You'll want to call about thirty minutes before you want to go on the quick date, and in the call, you need to say something slightly different than for the long date. In the short one, don't say actually say the word date. I know, this is completely against what I said before, but our society has trained us to think of dates as several hours long and something you need to 'get ready' for. Instead, you explain a date. Like this, "Hey (her name), in about half an hour I was going to go to Dairy Queen and get something. I was wondering if you'd like to come and let me buy you an ice cream." Check it out: It's planned out, you told her a time, a place, and what you'd be doing. It's paired off, she knows you are asking her, not that your buddies are going and you'd like her to come too. It's paid for, she knows that you'll be buying her an ice cream. It answers all the questions that make girls annoyed when you don't use the word date, and it's not a big event she has to plan, or get ready for.
Anyway, give the short date a shot when she doesn't have time for the long one. Sometimes it'll get you into doors the other one won't. Have a nice day.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Rule 5: A Few Things to Consider During Date Construction
1. Our teacher gave us all the answers for the Yoga test.
2. My mom made Turkey Poppy Seed Casserole.
3. My car worked again. (I know it's been a constant, but I'm still grateful for it)
So, today's post is probably a little more of a personal preference of mine than it is a hard, fast rule, but there's logic behind it that I think makes it valid enough to put on my list, and for guys to think about during date construction.
First, the logic. What should a first date be? I think it should be fun; not all dates need to be fun. Before my wife and I were married we went to a funeral of a friend of mine who had killed himself. It wasn't fun, but I'd still consider it a date. I wouldn't take a girl to a funeral on a first date if I were you ;). The date should give the two of you an opportunity to get to know each other better. That is what dating is for anyway. But, you need to consider the fact that you two don't know each other very well, so two hours of constant conversation might be a little awkward. Again, it's possible that you only asked her out because she had cool earrings on...
In considering these things, I think I have the best and worst possible first dates. Let's do worst first. In my opinion, "dinner and a movie" should be left for later dating. Let's look at it. Dinner: Let's put the two of you across from each other for an hour, with no one else there and hope you don't run out of conversation pieces before you get some food in front of you so that you can stuff your faces every time there's a laps in conversation. I would advise not going to dinner on the first unless you are doubling and there are more people to fill the void. A movie is not so much awkward as it is pointless. "I want to get to know you better, so let's stare at a screen, in a place where it is bad etiquette to talk at all. If I want to get to know you better, I'll creepily look over at you, until you notice and then I'll whip my head back toward the screen." I just don't think it's the best first date...
I'll tell you what is the best first date though: ice skating. I can hear you over the Internet, scoughing at my idea. I know that not everyone likes ice skating, and there is a possibility that she'll bruise her tail bone (as might you), but it really is the best first date option. First, does it give you a chance to talk to each other in a non-threatening space? Yes. Does it also allow for pauses in conversation without it being awkward? Why yes, because one of you can just skate off. Does it work if you, as the guy, suck at the activity? Yes. If you suck, you're like most of the world and both of you can just slide around together. If you're good at it, you can spray here, impress her with your speed, and show off with what tricks you have. Does it work if she sucks at it? Yes. Most people do suck at it, or if she's good, she can impress you. Does it take an appropriate amount of time? Yes. One or two hours of skating and her ankles will be sufficiently sore, and she'll have had fun. I submit that ice skating is the best first date, possibly preceded by dinner if you are doubling. I know it works. It was my wife's and my first date.
Have a nice day.
2. My mom made Turkey Poppy Seed Casserole.
3. My car worked again. (I know it's been a constant, but I'm still grateful for it)
So, today's post is probably a little more of a personal preference of mine than it is a hard, fast rule, but there's logic behind it that I think makes it valid enough to put on my list, and for guys to think about during date construction.
First, the logic. What should a first date be? I think it should be fun; not all dates need to be fun. Before my wife and I were married we went to a funeral of a friend of mine who had killed himself. It wasn't fun, but I'd still consider it a date. I wouldn't take a girl to a funeral on a first date if I were you ;). The date should give the two of you an opportunity to get to know each other better. That is what dating is for anyway. But, you need to consider the fact that you two don't know each other very well, so two hours of constant conversation might be a little awkward. Again, it's possible that you only asked her out because she had cool earrings on...
In considering these things, I think I have the best and worst possible first dates. Let's do worst first. In my opinion, "dinner and a movie" should be left for later dating. Let's look at it. Dinner: Let's put the two of you across from each other for an hour, with no one else there and hope you don't run out of conversation pieces before you get some food in front of you so that you can stuff your faces every time there's a laps in conversation. I would advise not going to dinner on the first unless you are doubling and there are more people to fill the void. A movie is not so much awkward as it is pointless. "I want to get to know you better, so let's stare at a screen, in a place where it is bad etiquette to talk at all. If I want to get to know you better, I'll creepily look over at you, until you notice and then I'll whip my head back toward the screen." I just don't think it's the best first date...
I'll tell you what is the best first date though: ice skating. I can hear you over the Internet, scoughing at my idea. I know that not everyone likes ice skating, and there is a possibility that she'll bruise her tail bone (as might you), but it really is the best first date option. First, does it give you a chance to talk to each other in a non-threatening space? Yes. Does it also allow for pauses in conversation without it being awkward? Why yes, because one of you can just skate off. Does it work if you, as the guy, suck at the activity? Yes. If you suck, you're like most of the world and both of you can just slide around together. If you're good at it, you can spray here, impress her with your speed, and show off with what tricks you have. Does it work if she sucks at it? Yes. Most people do suck at it, or if she's good, she can impress you. Does it take an appropriate amount of time? Yes. One or two hours of skating and her ankles will be sufficiently sore, and she'll have had fun. I submit that ice skating is the best first date, possibly preceded by dinner if you are doubling. I know it works. It was my wife's and my first date.
Have a nice day.
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